Page 53 of Tutoring Mr. Hotshot

But I know this is one of those times where I’m going to hate how much they care. I’ve never had a breakup like this. Never been heartbroken to my core. I’m not sure they know what to say or do.

Even if they do, I’m not sure how I’ll take it.

Things are so off-balance from a simple text message. I didn’t even know Andry had such power over my emotions until he ended things.

Part of me knows what it is though. It’s more than us breaking up.

It’s the loss of what I believed we had. The journey he’d offered me by wanting to be my Daddy. The hope he’d given me by seeing past what others had to give me a chance.

Gone.

Everything is gone now.

I’m not sure what to make of it.

Knowing my brother has no qualms about walking in the bathroom to get me if I take too long, I get clean and throw on the clothes. As I head downstairs, I prepare myself for the inquisition.

Instead of being bombarded like I expect, I find Ma and Aries sitting in front of the TV with soft smiles. It’s almost worse.

I try to give them one in return. From the expressions they wear, I suspect it’s more a grimace.

“Hey, Ma. Sorry about earlier.”

She waves her hand around. “None of that. Aries told me everything. No need to discuss it. Let’s eat and watch some movies.”

I sink into the space between them easily. They cover me with a blanket, then pass me a plate piled high with food. I choke out a laugh when it’s hefted on me.

“What in the world? I can’t eat all this.”

Aries bumps my shoulder. “You don’t have to eat it all. Do what you can. I’ll finish the rest. No need to let Ma’s talent go to waste.”

I smile a little at that. He’s right. No reason to not dig in.

These are people who love me, supporting me through this tough time even though none of us really knows what to do to make it better. Food and comfort are easy though. And they’re giving it to me without extra prodding.

The best kind of gift is to have people who understand you.

“What are we watching?” I ask as I shove a bite of rice and stew into my mouth.

I groan at the taste before swallowing. Ma beams at me, and Aries chuckles as he steals his own bite.

“Damn, woman. I swear it gets better every time.”

She swats at him behind my back. I know it’s teasing more than anything. She knows his language is never going to be perfect. Besides, it is enough to make me laugh, and that’s a win for us all.

We spend the next few hours floating between the least romantic movies on the planet. I’m talking about horror, mystery, and even a few thrillers. There’s not even a single kiss between any of them.

I’m thankful for it too. The idea of watching others be happily in love makes all the food in my stomach sit heavy.

By the time the last movie finishes, I feel renewed. It’s not that the pain is gone. More like it’s buried under the love I feel from my family. If nothing else in my life goes right, at least I have these two.

And the others too.

Raymond, Bellamy, Finn, and their network of people. I might not be as close to them, but I could be. They’re all open to being my friends. I’ve just got to accept their offers more.

I can’t hide behind my schoolwork anymore. That’s not the way to be happy. Not truly.

When I head to bed that night, I promise myself I’ll be better. I’ll try to socialize more. Really put myself out there.

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