Page 30 of Tutoring Mr. Hotshot

I continue on. “And when Rodney sees me, he thinks I’ll be like them. He thinks that I’ll hurt him somehow or that this is all a joke.”

I lean forward, my hands pressing into the desk.

“This is no joke. I like him a lot. I want to be with him. For him to be mine — my boyfriend, my partner. I want to take care of him and protect him. I want to treat those assholes to the beating they deserve for ever being rude to him. But I can't do that if he doesn't answer me. I can't do that if he avoids me and pretends I don't exist. Does that make sense?”

“Yes,” she nods quickly, then grabs her pen and starts writing notes on the paper with my name on it. “I know he'll kill me for this. I really do think you’re being sincere though, and that you mean what you say. If you hurt him I will… I will hurt you. Don't ask me how. I'll have to Google it or something. My big brother would definitely take care of you. He's fierce.”

As much as I want to roll my eyes, I don't. She needs to believe that she has the power here or at least enough of it that I will heed her warning.

It's useless since I need no warning.

All I want is what's best for him.

“Your help is appreciated. No need for threats. What are you doing?”

She holds up the paperwork. “I'm assigning him as your tutor. Rodney is one of our most asked for because he guarantees results. This year, he decided not to tutor full-time. I promised to only send him the cases where he was needed desperately. This is me sticking my neck out for you.”

I give her a full smile. I've been told that it makes me look charming. I've also been told that it's a bit scary.

Yaz shakes her head at me. “Save the smiles for him. I only need you to sign this paperwork and then I'll get it done.”

“Thank you,” I tell her again as I sign my name and confirm my phone number.

“I'll text you when we have a date set up. You’ll meet him at the library in a certain room. I won't tell him who you are, only that you'll be waiting for him. That should buy you a couple of minutes to hopefully explain yourself.”

“It's perfect.”

I leave to plan my speech. While I would rather show him how much he matters to me with my actions, I’ll have to convince him with my words first.

* * *

Three days later, I'm waiting on an ancient, uncomfortable chair in this small room for Rodney to show up.

My little genius tried to fight Yaz. Her text told me that I was lucky to be struggling with more than one subject because when she put it that way, he had to agree. The other tutors were only skilled in one subject each. She couldn't afford to spare two people for me.

I've gone over what I want to say a million times in the last seventy-two hours. I want to prove to him that he can depend on me. That I am at his mercy. That he truly holds the power no matter how our relationship pans out.

And to do that, I figure I have to give him a part of myself that I normally wouldn’t. I have to tell him that I am a Daddy and that I want him to be my boy.

Sharing that I want to be his caregiver and partner will make him look at me differently.

My only worry is that I’ll have to explain the dynamic to him if he doesn't already know it. And I have to make it clear that it wouldn't interfere with anything else.

Being his Daddy means he has protection in a way that he wouldn't otherwise.

The clock ticks slowly, making the chair I'm in even more uncomfortable. There's two of them in this room with a desk between us and a very dirty dry erase board on one wall. The window in the door is the only one showing the outside world, and I'm sitting in a way that you can't see me through it.

It's no surprise that when Rodney barges in right on time and sees me, his jaw drops. The door clicks shut behind him right as I motion for the empty chair.

“Five minutes is all I want.”

His mouth closes, and he takes a step back.

I hold my hand up, hoping he’ll follow the silent command. Thankfully, he freezes.

“I just want five minutes, little genius. Let me say what I need to say, then you can go if you wish. Please don't shut me out anymore.”

I watch his throat as he swallows.

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