Page 19 of Tutoring Mr. Hotshot

“Text me when you’re home?”

I startle at the question after having gone so deep into my own hypothetical situation.

“Of course. I’ll let you know I’m home safe if that’s what you want.”

“It is,” he replies firmly.

There’s no room to misinterpret what he’s asking of me. To further prove his point, he presses one more firm kiss against my lips, then pulls me from the wall and straightens my clothes.

“Now you’ll look the same as before. Go to your friend before I take you to my bed instead.”

I shiver at the image his words paint. It sounds like a much better option than hearing Yaz complain about her missed opportunity. Although, going to his bed would mean having to let him know I’m clueless about what happens in said bed.

Sure, I know the basics. The practice of said acts is not something I’m familiar with.

Another obstacle would be where his room is. If he lives with the other athletes, there’s no way I’m going to go there with him. I can’t risk running into anyone during a walk of shame. They’d probably accuse me of seducing Andry or some shit.

With a shake of my head, I clear the runaway thoughts.

“I’m going. Thank you for tonight,” I tell him genuinely.

He doesn’t move or reply, and I take that to mean he’s keeping himself from continuing this back and forth. I doubt I’d ever make it to Yaz if he said more of those arousing words.

Leaving him behind feels wrong. Yet, with every step I take, I also feel emboldened. Maybe there is more to this particular hockey player. Maybe not all of them are the gigantic assholes I’ve known them to be.

* * *

Yaz is beside herself at the news her crush is unavailable. She rants at me the whole way back to her apartment.

“Can you believe she had a boyfriend? I’ve never seen her with him on campus at all. Could it be new? What if I’m losing my gaydar abilities?”

I laugh so hard I nearly drive into a ditch. That would suck considering I share this car with Ma. She’d never let me live it down.

“I doubt you’ll find out now since you’re so upset. It’s not like you can just ask her. Not unless you intend to become her friend.”

“Are you suggesting I play the long game here?”

I shrug. “Not really suggesting anything. Only curious why it matters to you so much. Usually, you get over these crushes quickly and move along. Why is she different?”

“It’s not that she’s all that different. I just… well, I want to have a person, you know. I want someone to spend time with and have all those romantic moments.”

We get to a red light, which gives me the chance to turn to look at her. Her face is as serious as she gets without crossing into anger territory.

“Commitment, Yaz? A full-fledged relationship? I didn’t know you wanted one.”

“Of course I do. Everyone does.”

I snort. “Not me.”

It’s a lie. I’d accept a relationship offer if I felt the person truly wanted me, if they truly saw me for who I was.

Humans aren’t meant to be alone all the time. We are built to socialize and explore life. I haven’t had a big urge to do so until now.

Wonder why that is.

The errant thought has my mind going back to half an hour ago when I was pressed against a wall with Andry’s tongue down my throat.

Oh, yeah.

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