Page 41 of The Do-Over

Josh: Salutations, sweet Valentine.

I felt guilty as I responded.Me: Greetings.

Josh: We’re swamped so I can’t call until break, but I wanted to send a quick hello, in case you fall asleep.

Me: Right back atcha.

Josh: Are you wearing your bracelet?

Me: Nope—in bed.

Josh: I remembered that you love shiny things and it reminded me of your smile.

I didn’t particularly like shiny things—I wasn’t a bling girl—and how would a silver chain bracelet remind him of my smile, anyway? What—my smile in sixth grade, when I had a mouth full of braces and wore headgear when I slept?

I could still hear Nick Stark:Something that mattered to her.

I texted:Awwwww. <3 But the poem was the shiniest gift.

Josh: Sweetie. Gotta run. Lates, Emmiecakes.

Me: Lates.

I plugged the phone back into the charger, turned off the light, and settled into my pillow. I reallyhadhad a great Valentine’s Day with Josh—poetry and jewelry, what more could a girl ask for, really? It’d been everything I’d wanted out of the day, even before falling into this abyss of repetitive days.

The perfect boyfriend, checking off nearly all of the romance boxes I’d jotted down in my planner.

So why didn’t I feel more… I don’t know…swoonwhen I thought about him? The Macy thing, of course, but this was something else. He’d written a poem about me, but somehow the thought of Nick Stark talking about what he’d buy for a hypothetical girlfriend was more sweepy-off-my-feety than poetry.

I quickly shut down that train of thought. I knew nothing about Nick Stark—other than what he liked to read, what he listened to, what he smelled like, where he worked, how his laugh sounded when he was sleepy over the phone—and he was probably the jerk I’d always thought him to be.

Josh was perfect for me, and I was just tired.

I didn’t wish on a star that night. The day had been so close to perfect—in such an organic way—that I didn’t need the galaxy’s help.

I got this, Milky Way.

I fell asleep, not even noticing that, with talking to Nick on the phone, I had forgotten to say “I love you” to Josh.

CONFESSION #10

When I was three, I used to chase Billy Tubbs down the block, and if I caught him, I tackled him to the ground and bit him all over his back. My dad says he cried every time he saw me.

YET ANOTHER GODFORSAKEN VALENTINE’S DAY

My alarm went off and I hurled the phone across the room.

“Noooooooooooooooooooooo!”

“Walking on Sunshine” kept playing after the phone hit the wall and landed somewhere in the dark, but instead of retrieving it I just buried my face in my pillow and full-on screamed until I was out of breath.

I was in hell.

How could that day not have changed the course of events?

I grabbed my robe and went into the bathroom to shower.Again. I started the water and stepped in, knowing what was coming. I counted to five and then—

“Em, are you almost done in there?”

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