Page 68 of Eight Seconds to Ride

Rolling my eyes, I blow past her, plopping down on the couch. “I don’t have time for this, Dais.”

Daisy sits down beside me, grabbing the remote out of my hand, and turns the TV off. “Actually, it sounds like all you have is time. You’re not getting out of this. What the hell is going on, Shooter? Quitting the rodeo? That’s not you. You love competing.”

“Do I?” I bellow, feeling my blood pressure rising by the second. “Do I love it, Daisy, or do I just want to make our father proud?” Her eyes widen, her lips parting like she may say something, only to snap it closed again. “I know you don’t understand this, because Dad isn’t hard on you—at least not in the way he is with me—but I can’t take it anymore. I cannot fucking do this anymore. Not until I figure out my true motive. I need time to figure out if this is something I’m doing for me, because I enjoy it.”

She remains quiet for a few more moments, her eyes softening. I have to look away because I don’t know what I’ll do if it’s pity in her gaze.

“Shooter, why haven’t you ever talked to me about this?”

My pulse is roaring in my ears, limbs trembling with all the pent-up frustration I feel about all this shit.

“Because you wouldn’t fucking get it.”

Daisy rears back like I physically struck her. “How dare you assume, just because I may not know exactly what you’re going through, that I can’t empathize and still be there for you as yoursister.” She scoffs. “You know, somebody who freaking loves you and wants you to be happy.”

She looks and sounds hurt, and honestly, that’s like a knife to my chest. Daisy and I may not always see eye-to-eye, nor do we always get along, but hurting her is never something I want to do.

My throat clogs, and I’m mentally kicking myself in the ass for being such a jackass. “I’m sorry, okay?” I blurt out, my voice cracking on the apology. “I’m not the best at opening up to people.”

“You don’t say,” Daisy deadpans, looking less than amused.

Shoving her leg, I grumble, “Don’t be a bitch.”

“Don’t be a dick,” she counters before adding in a much softer tone, “So, what now?”

I blow out a breath, wishing like hell I had a more solidified answer to that question. “I don’t know, Dais. Now, I sit at home the rest of the season and try to figure out what the fuck I want out of life, and hope I’m not making the biggest mistake. Hope I’m not ruining my career.”

She gives me a sad smile. “I know you’ll hate the idea, but maybe visiting Dr. Payne might help.”

My brows pinch as I try to place where I know that name from. “Who the fuck is Dr. Payne?”

Daisy snorts. “My therapist.”

I roll my eyes and nod. “Sterling suggested the same thing.”

“Knew I liked him,” she beams.

“Yeah, yeah,” I grumble. “Anyway, I was planning on checking that out while I’m home.”

“Really?” Her eyes go so comically big, I’d make me laugh if I wasn’t annoyed.

“Yes, don’t act so fucking surprised. I’m taking this seriously if you can’t tell.”

We fall into a thoughtful silence, my shoulders already feeling lighter after filling Daisy in. My heart squeezes at the thought of every time she tried to be there for me, and I basically told her to get fucked. I think back, trying to pinpoint when exactly I started shutting everyone out. When I started bottling my feelings up. I can’t. It’s beenthatlong.

Finally, Daisy whispers, “I’m gonna miss you out there.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, right. You’ll probably love not having my asshole self around.”

She smiles, rolling her eyes. “I’m serious. I’ve never competed without you on the road with me. You’ve always been there, and I don’t know…it’ll be weird.”

Now it’s my turn to soften as I take her in, truly hearing what she’s saying. She’s right, I’ve been on the road every year she’s ever competed professionally. “Daisy, you’re a fantastic rider, and you’ve more than earned your place out there. I have every confidence that you’ll be just fine without me there bugging you and getting under your skin.”

Her eyes become glossy as she searches mine. “Wow, I think that may be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Shooter.”

We laugh, but I pull her in for a hug.

“I’m proud of you, big brother,” she mumbles against my chest before pulling back and meeting my gaze. “For doing what’s best for yourself. I hope you figure it out, and please, let me be there for you from now on. We’re on the same side, you know.”

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