Page 94 of Worthy

“A lot of times, these guys need to learn lessons the hard way. They’re going to fuck up, and they have to deal with the consequences. That’s life. You can’t protect them from that.” Getting an idea, I stand and slap him on the back. “Come on.”

He sighs but stands, following along behind me to the third floor and into my dorm. My roommate is one of the lucky ones that get to leave during winter interim, so I’m alone until New Year’s.

Joey drops down onto my bed, and I pull out a bottle of vodka from the mini fridge Neal, my roommate, has.

“Didn’t we just tell the freshmen not to make dumb choices?” He smirks at me but takes the cup I offer him with orange juice and vodka in it.

“We know our limits,” I scoff and clink our plastic cups together. I sit next to him, and we both take a drink.

Joey stares into his like it has the answer to life’s questions.

“Can I ask you something?” he finally says, squeezing the cup until it makes a sound, then releasing it.

“Of course.” I shrug and look at his profile. The man is gorgeous, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw. His lips look soft and a little puffy still from the kissing earlier.

His eyebrows pull together, and he lifts one hand to his mouth to chew on the cuticle that’s already red and ragged.

“How. Like. When.” He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, then blurts the words out. “How did you know you liked guys?”

I wasn’t sure where this was going but that wasn’t it.

He turns to look at me, and I carefully wipe the surprise off my face.

“In junior high, I was curious what it was like to kiss a boy. I liked girls, but I thought I might like boys too, but since I felt like I wasn’t allowed to watch them the same way, I wasn’t sure.” I clasp my hands together between my knees. “In high school, a bunch of the football team was having a party, and someone dared another teammate to kiss me. We were drunk and fifteen. So he did, and that was the confirmation I needed.” I shrug like it wasn’t the most stressful time of my life at school. Like I wasn’t terrified that it was written all over my face that I didn’t hate it.

Joey’s eyes drop to my lips for a second before he turns away. Fuck, I wish he would just kiss me already.

“Have you been questioning what you like? Is sex with men new for you?” I ask carefully. I don’t want to spook him if he’s not ready to talk about it, but knowing that much would help. “It’s okay if you are or if you’re solid in what you already know. Sexuality is a spect—”

Joey’s lips meet mine, cutting off my rambling. The man kisses like it’s his profession. It’s intoxicating and all-consuming.

I reach for him, sliding my hand along the side of his neck, and dip my head to the side to change the angle and hope like hell that he doesn’t run again.

Chapter five

Joey

Nick’s warm, calloused hand holds the side of my neck, and he deepens the kiss, encouraging me to kiss him back.

Without looking, I set my cup on the floor and reach for his arm, holding on to his wrist. I need the anchor. I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is because nothing has ever felt as right as Nick. No other man, no woman, just Nick.

Some piece inside my chest that I didn’t even know was misaligned, clicks together. It steals my breath.

Putting my hand on the bed, I lean into him, wanting him to lie back. I want to feel him against me. I need it. This is as intoxicating as the vodka, humming along my skin.

“Hey, wait.” Nick pulls his mouth from mine, and I whimper. Fucking whimper. What the actual fuck was that? My face heats with embarrassment for the pathetic sound and for mauling him after leaving the way I did earlier. What the hell is wrong with me?

“Fuck. I’m sorry.” I jerk out of his hold and try to flee to my own room, but Nick is just as fucking fast as I am, and he tackles me into the door. I lean my forehead against the wood with my eyes squeezed shut while trying to hold back the panic.

“I’m sorry.” Heat burns my face. “I know I’m giving really mixed signals, but I can’t stay away from you.”

The heat of his body warms my back, and I’m not sure if I should like it or not. I do like it but am I not supposed to? Is it wrong to?

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Nick’s voice is soft next to my ear. We’re pretty matched for height, though I’m bulkier than he is. “Trying to figure yourself out is hard. It’s awkward, and sometimes you have to fight the roles society has ingrained in us with what we want or need. It’s okay.”

I lift my head and drop it back onto the door with a loud thud. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I should be doing. I don’t know anything anymore.

“Turn around,” Nick demands, and my body is turning before I’ve had a chance to think about it. Yeah, I’m a team captain, I play an aggressive, full-contact sport, but I like when he makes decisions for me. I don’t want to think anymore. It’s dangerous in my head. My body reacts to him like it never has before, and I’m already desperate to see what else he can do to me.

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