Page 80 of Worthy

I feel awake. I feel alive.

I feel… horribly, terriblyguilty.

Watching Tate stand up, naked, the contours of his sculpted body like a statue of Greco-Roman perfection, my eyes follow him as he wanders toward the window of the pool house and cracks it, lighting his cigarette where it rests between his puffy lips. Right now, he looks just like he did when we were younger… Hair all tousled around, a youthful glow to his face.

I guess the only difference is that he’s frowning. ThatTate smirkis gone, and I can see the contemplation in his eyes. I swallow hard.

As great as I feel inside, this is still bad. The second we walk out of here, his friends are going to know what happened. Which wouldn’t be a big deal in any other situation, but I’msurethey also happen to know I’m married… There’s no way Tate didn’t tell his best friend. He’s not known for keeping his mouth shut.

My thoughts begin to swirl over everything that’s happened in the last week… Seeing Tate again for the first time in so long, when he was never far away in my thoughts. It sparked a need in me, something that’s probably always been there, but for some reason onlyhe’sever truly been able to drag up to the surface.

I wish things were different… I wish I could demolish the wall that’s been built between us over the last sixteen years. But I just don’t know how to do that.

Standing, I step into my boxers and stride slowly over to Tate, watching him stare out the window at the swirling smoke from his cigarette. Dropping to my knees beside him, I feel my fingers twitching with the desire to just touch him and never stop. This sensation is overwhelming… It scares the shit out of me because I’ve never felt it for anyone but him, and I just don’t understand how that’s possible.

“Tate…” I whisper his name, unsure of what I’m supposed to say.

I’m confused, and you’re the reason.

I’ve finally come alive thanks to you.

Even though it’s wrong, all I want in the world is to seal myself to you forever.

Would you evenwantthat?

His face slopes in my direction, our shockingly similar brown eyes locking while we both breathe visibly. My eyes flick briefly to the bite marks on his neck.

“This isn’t going to work…” he mumbles, dark brows knitting together. “Is it?”

My lips part, but I can’t speak.

Because I don’t want to lie to him with truths.

He can always tell, anyway.

“It’s okay.” His chin dips and he swallows, gazing at the cigarette between his fingers. “I don’t need it to.”

“What does that mean?” I ask softly, his words and the tone he’s using gripping my gut like a vice.

His lashes flutter as he peeks up at me once more. “I’m used to casual sex…”

My head shakes like an instinct. “I don’t want you to be used to casual sex, Tate.”

You deserve so much more…

“But what about when it’s with you?”

“Are you saying that’s enough?” I reach forward and take his hand in mine. It’s so much bigger than a woman’s… Holding it feels like picking up an illicit treasure. “Is that… what you want?”

He sucks in a breath, tossing his cigarette out the window. And he whispers, “Thank you for the flowers… Sunshine.”

To Be Continued…

Thank you for reading

Flipping Hot Fiction by Nyla K

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