Page 70 of Worthy

My lashes flutter. “Is that so…?”

“Yea. And I accepted himmainlybecause I figured it was only a matter of time before he asked about you.”

“That is just so…” My voice trails before I quietly ask, “Did he?”

“Well,no,” Jake murmurs.

My chest tightens, a physical reaction I really don’t care for. “See? Told ya.”

“Yea, but he always likes every picture I post of you,” he goes on. “Actually, heonlylikes my pictures of you.”

Now my heart does a weird thump. Because it’s clearly a fucking moron.

“That doesn’t mean anything…”

“Maybe not… Or maybe it means he’s been itching to get in touch, and has been working himself up to it.”

“Look, this is all very third grade,” I huff. “I gotta go get ready for a meeting.”

Jake sighs, like I’m being too stubborn and it’s irritating him. “Fine. I expect to hear the rest of this Pride story, though. The unabridged version. Are you coming home this weekend? For the party?”

My brow furrows. “What party?”

“Oh… Ben said he was going to invite you. I assumed he already had…”

“Please. Your brother rarely invites me to things unless Ryan and Jess talk him into it.”

“No, they wouldn’t. It’s a surprise anniversary party for them. On Saturday.”

“Well, I guess my invitation got lost in the mail,” I mutter.

“Trust me, he’ll call you. He said he was going to.”

“If he does, I’ll be there.”

“Even if he doesn’t, you should come by Sunday. The girls miss their Uncle Trouble.”

The sound of Jake’s audible grin tugs my lips into one of my more genuine ones. I don’t need to settle down myself, because I already have a family.And they’re pretty cool.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you soon, Beavis.”

“Later, Butthead.”

My conversation with Jake has me nostalgic for hours. All throughout my meeting with our new clients at the Houston office, I can’t stop thinking about my life, and my friends… How different we are. All the ways I’vechanged.

I wasn’t lying to Lance when I told him I really haven’t changed much since college. I haven’t in the ways that matter, like my personality and who I am as a person. My pride in myself, my confidence and the strength I find in Tate Eckhart, the successful gay man. I guess in a lot of ways, I’m lucky I’ve never had to struggle with my sexuality the way some people do. Sure, I don’t have any real family outside of my mother, and she’s not without her issues. But still, she’s always loved and accepted me for who I am.

The same goes for my friends. Of course, I have a ton of gay friends, but I also love my group of corny straight, married pals, with all their kids and their parent problems. The idea of getting married and having kids has never appealed to me, but I still love hanging out with them, the same way they love hanging out with me, despite how they might never truly understand the life of a wealthy, single gay man. We all love and accept one anotherbecauseof our differences, not in spite of them.

Maybe I don’t dofeelings… But Idofeel things.Sometimes.Right now, I hate to admit it, but I’m feeling a lot. And I guess… not all of it is awful.

Back in my hotel room at the end of the night, I’m tossing my stuff into my bag. My flight back to New Mexico leaves at seven in the morning, which means I’ll need to leave the hotel by five. Doesn’t matter to me, though. Us bankers are early-risers by trade. Like farmers, only our crops are those sweet, green dead presidents.

Maybe I’ll even squeeze in a workout before I leave.

Sauntering around the hotel room with a glass of scotch, I have Grindr up on my phone, as usual. There are a bunch of guys in my area, and I’m wondering if maybe I should go meet up with one, or more. I could use the release… I’m a bit more anxious than usual, and I refuse to think aboutwhy.

Opening a message from a guy who looks like exactly the kind of present I need to get my mind off the past, my eyes barely get to take in the perverse things he’s written when an incoming call flashes over it.

---