Page 223 of Worthy

“You get it?” Then enlighten me, please. I’m really clueless. “How is that possible when I don’t get it myself?”

Now it’s his turn to look confused. “What do you mean?”

I sigh, then look up at the ceiling. Suddenly, a drink sounds like the best idea, because I’ll need one or ten to explain whatever it is I’m going through. “Want to go to the bar across the street? I’ll buy you a drink and we can talk. I’ll do my best to explain things.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment and I wait, half expecting him to say no, fuck you, and then leave only to never come back, but he doesn’t. “Okay. Lead the way.” Something in his tone makes me think he’s just humoring me, but that’s okay. It’s a long time coming, and I need to talk to someone about this.

Maybe a little scotch will help loosen my lips.

Chapter five

Lance

If you had told me the day from hell would have ended here I’d have never believed you.

Surely there’s no way in real life I’d have walked into my boss’s office and caught him watching porn? Then in my haste to leave unnoticed I’d knock over the potted plant in the hall, not only announcing my presence but creating a huge mess in the process.

Yet I did.That happened,and I’m really embarrassed about it.

I still can’t believe he was watching porn. I’m blaming the margaritas for why I even went to check his office when I heard the groans coming from in there. For a moment I thought maybe something was wrong until I realized it was moans of pleasure I was hearing and not sounds of pain. I must have stood at his opened office door for a solid twenty seconds before I finally gained enough sense to get out of there. Of course, having the grace of a skittish cat, I caused a scene.

I thought for sure I’d be able to just keep it to myself. Just go home, get some sleep, and forget it ever happened, but that’s not how it played out, and the second he said he was watching gay porn every rational thought I had went out the window. My mind runs through all the possibilities of what I could do with him if we were naked.

Ugh, stop. He’s your boss.

Now, here I am, sitting across from him at a bar table while sipping on a vodka tonic as my head spins at Owen’s confession. We got to the bar about thirty minutes ago, ordered drinks, and after a little bit of apprehension from Owen he finally just busted down his built-up wall and told me all of his secrets. About the guy he kissed in college to this guy he’s kind of crushing on now. The last part made me jealous. Of course he likes someone.

It wasn’t at all what I was expecting. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little stunned. I’ve seen it before, closeted guys who didn’t want the world to know they were gay, but I can honestly say I’ve never known any guy to just not know what their sexual preference was when it came to a partner. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging him, I’m just unsure of how to proceed. Especially when he’s eyeing me with so much hope, like I’m the answer to all his problems.

I take another sip from my drink, trying to come up with what to say. This is the first time he’s talked to anyone about this and I know how big of a deal that is. “So you haven’t tried anything since college?”

“Nothing. Opportunity never presented itself.” He looks so tense, like he’s waiting for me to freak out and judge him or something.

“But you wanted to?” I know he said he’s found guys attractive, but you can find people attractive and not be sexually into them. Take me for example, women are beautiful. I can look at a woman and tell you what about her is pleasing to me. From their smile, to their hair, to their soft skin, but it doesn’t mean I want to sleep with them. This could be his hang-up. He could find men pleasing to look at but may not want to sleep with them, and that’s okay.

He nods, his deep brown eyes holding mine as he says, “I very much want to.”

Fuck me. There is not enough vodka in the world to put out the fire burning in my gut right now. Why does he have to be so damn hot? It should be illegal. Looking at me like that dressed in a suit and me now knowing he wants to have sex with men. Fuck. I reach under the table, discreetly adjusting myself before clearing my throat.

“It sounds like you’re bisexual.” I give him a small, reassuring smile. “It’s okay to like both girls and guys. I’m convinced we’re all a little bi anyway.”

A smile blooms across his face but he shakes his head. “My father would disagree with you.”

“Well, he sounds like a stand-up guy.” He’s something special alright. I don’t have to deal with him too much but when I do he always calls me Linus. I’ve corrected him several times too. I won’t lie, it’s annoying.

“There are no words to describe him.” He looks down at the table, a frown forming on his lips.

“I’m sorry, I don’t feel like that was helpful, but it does show you that you’re not alone. I know a lot of people struggle with this.”

He nods, tilting his head in thought. “But am I bisexual?”

“You could be, but why does the label matter? Sexuality is fluid and no person is the same. Just be who you are. Love who you are.” I want to help him understand that sexuality doesn’t define him, but by the look on his face that wasn’t the answer he wanted.

“But I need to know,” he replies solemnly, eyes pleading.

Releasing a long breath, I give him my thoughts. “I’d say you’re probably bi. Or at least bi-curious.”

“Definitely curious,” he mutters, tipping back his drink before waving at the server for another.

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