Page 160 of Worthy

Throwing my hands up, I push off the couch. “You say we don’t talk. You’re right, we don’t.” I point to myself. “I was drugged and abducted, Mom. Abducted! I sat in the back of that van thinking I would get killed. I was scared, so fucking scared! Melanie saved us.” I fall silent, wiping at my now-wet cheeks. “She gets it because she was there that night. She getsme.I can’t be some false version of myself anymore. It’s exhausting. I’m tired, Mom.”

“But Jaxon—”

“I don’t love Jaxon!”

“But you… Why were you with him all this time?”

Chewing on my lip, I shrug. “It was easy, I guess. Before the abduction, I thought it was simpler to conform to the world than to live my own truth. I think…” I fall silent, then raise my eyes to hers. “I guess it was easier than to facethismoment, seeing you look at me with such disappointment.”

Mom’s eyes are glassy with tears that threaten to spill over. The war waging inside her plays out in her gaze while she studies me as if for the first time. “I can’t let you girls sleep in the same bed.”

I stop breathing.

“I don’t like it, and I’m uncomfortable with it.” Wet tears trail down her cheeks as she twists the pearl necklace around her fingers. “It will take me time to get used to the idea of you two girls… together… like that.”

I stay silent, not daring to make a noise.

“But you’re my daughter, and I want to see you happy. I just wish…” Inhaling deeply, she swipes at her cheeks. “I just wish you would come to me with these things. We need to talk more.”

My own tears fall, blurring my vision. “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

Launching myself at her, I throw my arms around her neck. She smells of unconditional love and acceptance. I burrow my nose into her neck. “Thank you.”

Mom holds me tighter. “You and Melanie aren’t allowed to share a bed again. The rules don’t differ because you live under the same roof.”

Relief lights me up from the inside. Despite everything, I laugh softly. “I promise, Mom, we won’t.”

That makes her laugh.

She leans back and cups my wet cheeks with a soft smile. “I’m glad you have someone who gets you and that you’re not going through the aftermath of the abduction alone.” Her eyes stray over my face as she brushes my hair away from my wet cheeks. “I can listen, but I can’t truly understand. No one can, except for Melanie.”

“I love her, Mom.”

“Well,” she whispers, pressing her forehead to mine, “you’re young, and love is a big word. You have a lot yet to learn, sweetheart. At least you have a safe place to fall. Melanie is a good kid, and she wouldn’t dare break your heart because she knows she’d have to deal with me.” She bops me on the nose, causing me to laugh through my tears.

“Thank you for being so understanding.”

Stepping back and placing her hands on my upper arms, she squeezes gently. “I don’t know about that, darling. But I’m willing to try. This is new for us all.”

I nod, wiping away my tears. “I know.”

“Go on. Go find Melanie. I bet she’s really worried about you.”

“What about her dad?”

Mom’s smile softens. “I married a good man with a big heart. Melanie will be just fine.”

It feels wrong to leave her like this after we’ve finally had our first heart-to-heart in forever. I want to explore this side of my mom, but I’m also afraid to push her too far.

“Oh, and one last thing,” she says, just as I’m about to leave the room.

I pause in the doorway.

“You need to stop placing so much pressure on yourself, sweetheart. I’ve never expected you to be perfect. That’s all in your head. I want you to lead with your heart. It will guide you more than your head ever will.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

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