Page 54 of Lorenzo & Lily

“Good. That’s a fuck of a better reason to go to PT than hearing about my life.”

The corner of Hector’s mouth tipped up. “But your life is so interesting. Tell me what happened.”

“First tell me why you skipped tea yesterday. I was looking for you. Plus, my brothers are here visiting and I wanted to introduce them to you.”

Hector shrugged. “PT took a lot out of me, that’s all. Wanted some rest.”

“I sent a VSO volunteer up here with some food.”

The corner of Hector’s mouth tipped up. “She was, um, nice.”

“Nice? She’s beautiful, intelligent, and spends her free time volunteering for a noble cause. She’s a catch. She’s leaving the VSO to focus on classes when she starts back at university in January. Since she wouldn’t be a volunteer anymore, you’d be free to ask her out on a date.”

Hector’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know so much about her?”

Lorenzo rolled his eyes. “I know all the VSO volunteers who come to the MARC, because I meet them during the training they’re required to take.”

“Oh.”

“Thought I’d had my wicked way with her?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Of course not.”

“Well, just so we’re clear, I don’t socialize with VSO volunteers, not in that way.”At least, not since Lily. “You going to PT again?”

Hector sighed. “Yes. Later today, if they can fit me in.”

“But you don’t want to wait, do you? You had a taste of real exercise for the first time in months, and you’re itching to get back, even if it is some of the hardest shit you’ll do in your life.”

“Something like that. You feel like this?”

Lorenzo nodded. “When I got back, after I got physically better, I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay in bed. I wanted my family to stop visiting, giving me those pitying looks. I went back to PT for the wrong reasons. I did it just to shut my family up. If I went, they thought I was improving. I realized I liked the high of exercising, but it can become like a drug. Your body convincing you you’re happy, even when you’re not. It was then I found a therapist, and he started me on a path that’s working.”

Hector frowned, and went back to picking at the bedspread.No. He was toying with the shell Lorenzo had given him yesterday, the shell he was currently trying to keep out of sight.

“I see it,” Hector whispered. “All the fucking time. Practically every time someone opens the goddamn door, I expect to see someone shooting at me. Even all these years later. I can’t stop it.”

Lorenzo put his hand over Hector’s. “You can, you just don’t have the tools to do it. It’s been six, almost seven, years since we got back. We both tried to start living again, and we both failed, because we couldn’t move beyond the past. For us, every day, it was like we were back in the jungle. The doctors helped show me the way. I’m still trying. Sometimes, working here, I see it so close to the surface, and I have to remind myself it’s the past, and that it’s not going to hurt me. And now…now I’ve got a little girl. I’d never do anything to fuck that up.”

“So, it went well last night?”

Lorenzo gave him a brief overview of what happened. “Liliana seemed to take it in stride. Lily and I are still working through things.”

“You really want to marry her? Even after she left you? Is it because of Liliana?”

Lorenzo shook his head. “No. Two parents who aren’t together can raise a child together, even a royal one. She made the choice to leave me, but she didn’t want to. I need to forgive her for that, and let go of the anger I feel towards her because of it. Last night, I talked to my therapist, and I think I finally got there. Lily and I have a child; I certainly don’t want Liliana to grow up holding grudges, or have two parents who hold one, either.”

He certainly didn’t want the fresh start they were about to make overshadowed by past hurts, or even recent ones if he included their phone call this morning. He’d need to beg her forgiveness later for that.

“No, I want Lily because I still love her. What she did to me, I know she had her reasons, but I still want her. Maybe that’s naïve, but it’s the truth. When I saw her at the beach yesterday, I knew. I didn’t accept it then, but I don’t have a choice now.”

“Does she want you?”

“Not yet.” Maybe not ever after their conversation this morning. “But I’ll keep trying. In the meantime, the world finds out about her and Liliana in a couple hours.”

“Worried about the press?”

“Yes, that, and about a million other things. I’ve got some things to take care of, so I need to head out. How about this? If you’re feeling better in a couple days, let’s go get a beer.”

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