Page 24 of Dravin

I barely refrain from snarking that she’s still heavily into criminal stuff then. The corner of her mouth tilts up like she knows what I’m thinking, and she’s perfectly okay with snarky, because she knows that it’s true. Whatever misgivings she might have had about bending the law for the club or bending her own morals and stretching her oaths, love clearly won out in the end.

There’s still enough of the old me deep down inside that I get misty eyed over that too. I don’t know why I always fell so hard for everyone else’s love stories and at the same time, was too realistic to think I’d ever have one of my own.

“I teach school,” Haley offers. “I think I said that already. Did I?” She laughs. “Anyway. Kindergarten. I absolutely love it.”

“Oh my god, you’re a freaking hero,” I gasp. “Your bravery is unparalleled.”

The room erupts in laughter. “I get what you mean. Some days, it’s a lot knowing that I have twenty to thirty little humans to keep alive. I blow off steam at the end of the day by baking. It’s something I’ve always loved to do. If I wasn’t a teacher, I’d probably want to own my own place, although turning your hobby into work is probably a good way to ruin it.”

“I’m sure that’s not the only way you blow off steam,” Ella jokes. “Gunner might have something to do with that.”

“Ask them about their love story sometime.” Willa leaps off the couch. “It’s so freaking out there and incredible and amazing, but no offense, Dil- Haley, I’m starving.”

She was totally about to use a different name.

A club name?

A nickname?

Or maybe I’m not the only one with a past I don’t want known.

If that’s true, Haley doesn’t allow those shadows I saw outside to creep up on her and she doesn’t miss a beat. “Is it okay if we move to the kitchen? The smell of that bread has been making my mouth water ever since I picked it up.”

It’s nice of them to ask instead of just taking over the place, even though I’m obviously the most incapable hostess. “Sure.”

“I brought sparkling water for you, Lynette,” Lark says as she stands and smooths her dress down, brushing imaginary wrinkles. The flowing fabric somehow outlines her tiny frame instead of swallowing her.

“You have no idea how much that means.”

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got you.”

“We all do.” Willa kisses her sister’s cheek after leaping up, and they all move as a throng towards the kitchen.

They have to go one at a time through the narrow doorway and I’m last, but I quickly takeover, grabbing plates and glasses out of the cupboards. I do wonder, as I’m setting it all down on the table amidst the food and bottles of wine being pulled out of bags and arranged, the cupcakes revealed in all their mouthwatering chocolate glory, who picked the things out that we’re using?

It’s a small thing and probably a weird thought, but it reminds me of all the history that was here before I ever arrived. A few days ago, I would have staunchly said it was a history that I wouldn’t be a part of adding to, but now, I’m not so sure.

While the women fill their plates and do up a few with the oil and vinegar mixture to dip the bread, they change the subject to the old ladies. There are a few that aren’t here, because they’re away for summer with their kids, or had other obligations. I guess not all of them are so young.

The kitchen is flooded with the fresh scent of bread, salt, sugar, and the floral, sweeter scents of these women themselves.

Ella glances around and clears her throat. It’s almost like a warning, a heads up for me that I’m not going to enjoy what she has to say. I have a plate in my hand with some bread on it, a few olives, and a scattering of deli meat. I haven’t eaten any of it yet. My stomach constricts, making me glad that I held out because I was too busy soaking up every single word being said, trying to commit it to memory to build a better picture of the world that I’m just skirting the fringes of.

“Even the prospects at the club usually pick club names. There’s talk at the place of giving Dravin one, but you should probably interject. The monikers have been utterly atrocious so far.”

The tight knot in my guts unwinds and I busy myself with biting an edge off the focaccia bread. I don’t know where they got it, but it’s the best bread I’ve ever had. Period. “Like what?” I ask after I’m done chewing.

Ella sets her plate down and holds up her fingers, ticking off the names as she goes. “Big Dick, Animal, Cyclops—because we already have an Odin, Blade, Maverick, Albatross, Alien, Acid…”

“Oh my god, did someone get out a biker dictionary and just start with A’s?” That earns me a laugh. “Cyclops?” I ask, puzzled.

The easy camaraderie crashes to a standstill. I get a few strange looks.What the actual fuck? No. There’s no way that’s true and I didn’t know.It makes sense. Horrible sense. The scars on that side of Dravin’s face, how I once thought it was a mercy that he escaped that kind of injury with his eyesight intact.

“Right. I was just surprised that anyone would want a club name that points out something most people would consider a handicap.”

“There’s power in your flaws,” Lark explains without being preachy. “Owning what’s happened to you in your past. We all have one. Whether it’s been a hard road or not so bumpy, we try and own it. No one’s perfect at the club, but those men are brothers because they’ve embraced that. They’re into more than just bikes. The club is a place where you can go to be accepted no matter what you’ve done and who you are. Yes, some criminal stuff still happens, but Gray and Raiden are working with Lynette on alternate business plans. A lot of the stuff the club did was legacy related. There’s always a chance to be something more.”

“I had another brother.” I’m apparently chronically unable to stop blurting out the things I shouldn’t be telling anyone under any circumstances. Silence steals over the small kitchen again. “He was… He died. That’s why we left, and that’s why it’s been hard. Dravin didn’t want to stay and live with all the reminders. He sees ghosts. We both do. The ghosts of our pasts and what we’ve done and what our brother did. It wasn’t on the right side of the law. That is, I’m not trying to stand here and judge anyone.”

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