Page 42 of Finding Home with You

I stand under the hot water letting it burn itself into my exhausted body. Maybe I can melt away everything that’s happened today, this week, this year...this lifetime. This situation is more fucked up than ever, and as much as Ryan tried to act like the slashed tires were just a minor inconvenience, we both know it’s much more than that.

Someone is sending Ryan a message to back the fuck off, and if he doesn’t listen, which I know he won’t, it’s going to get so much worse.

Anthony doesn’t want me back, because if he did he would’ve found me years ago. I was never the compliant quiet girlfriend I was supposed to be, and he didn’t have time for that. But that doesn’t mean he’s not bitter. He’s spiteful and vengeful, and it would totally be his MO to ruin my life.

If he’s not happy, no one will be.

Ryan hasn’t shared much with me, but what I do know gives me reason to believe that Anthony isn’t going to give up anytime soon.

I almost wish Ryan’s captain would’ve taken him off the case, because to Ryan, this is not only a job, it’s become personal. I don’t think he’s going be able to separate his feelings for me, and my connection to all this and his ability to do his job rationally.

When I get out of the shower I can hear Ryan talking to someone on the phone, but his voice is calmer and I hear him laugh, and just the sound makes me smile. I love the sound of his laugh and I feel my heart flutter as I walk up behind him and slip my arms around his waist. I press up on my toes and kiss the back of his neck.

“Sounds good,” Ryan says as he turns in my arms to face me. “We’ll see you soon,” he adds, and then he hits the end button on his phone.

“Who will we see soon?” I ask, my eyebrows raised because clearly he has something planned. I’m still on my tiptoes, my face looking up at him as Ryan quickly kisses me, and then says, “My family.”

He’s beaming as he kisses me again and starts to walk toward the bedroom. I’m following closely behind beginning to panic before I even have the details.

I can’t meet his family not when mine is such a fucked up mess, not to mention that we haven’t even been together that long.

“Ryan,” I call trailing after him as he ducks into the bedroom, clearly avoiding me but with that cheeky smile still plastered on his face. “When are we going? Like now, tomorrow, next week?” I ask, watching him grab an overnight bag from his closet.

I scrub my hands over my face and pull them through my wet hair. I guess the bag answers my question.

“We’re going to leave tonight. I know you’re on winter break now, but I don’t have a ton of free time and I figure it’s as good of a time as any to go.”

He’s completely casual as he goes along tossing socks and underwear into his bag acting like he can’t see the panic that is written all over my face.

“One of my sisters will be there too,” he adds, taking my face in his hands now and kissing me hard. “We just need to make a quick stop at your place and then we’ll be all set.”

Again, with the casualness as my panic starts to escalate.

“Ryan, what about your car?” I ask, trying to stall this visit as much as possible. I’d like a little more time to be prepared.

“All taken care of. I made some calls while you were in the shower, and the tow truck is on its way.”

“Your job?” I question, now knowing that’s the one thing that will possibly make him stay.

“Again, Erin, it’s all good. I’ve got some work I’ve got to take care of up there, so you can hang out with my mom and my sister.”

What in the literal fuck is he trying to do to me? I’m an only child, I have the shittiest family, and he thinks we’re just going to show up and hang out like we’re old friends? I don’t do families and socializing.

“Ryan,” I practically plead, but he shakes his head. Still smiling, he zips his bag and starts walking toward the door.

“You ready?” he calls over his shoulder as he opens the door and begins to leave. “We’ve got at least a four hour drive ahead of us so get moving.”

Without questioning him anymore because it’s obvious he’s made up his mind, I grab my coat and shoes and follow him out to my car. Maybe at least when we get back to my house I can talk some sense into him.

We were both quiet most of the way back to Rockport with the drive taking a little longer than normal given it’s a Friday and we were heading back in the thick of commuter traffic. But I know it’s more than just that; we’re quiet because talking about our situation just causes us to argue and right now both of us are stressed.

I understand Ryan’s concern with me visiting my father and getting involved in this more than necessary, but he has no idea what I know.

We pull into my driveway and it’s a little after seven o’clock. With both of us starving I suggest we get something to eat and leave for Ryan’s parents’ house tomorrow morning instead.

“Erin, babe, stop being so worried. It’s all good,” Ryan says dismissing my suggestion and shooing me into the house to pack and change my clothes. “Hurry up, okay?” he shouts as I open the front door and leave him behind.

I’m dragging my feet, but eventually I throw some things into a small suitcase and quickly change my clothes, but leave off the makeup. Given we will be arriving late at night I’m not certain it even matters.

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