Page 34 of Finding Home with You

Chapter Thirteen

Ryan

I pull Erin into the shower with me, both of us somehow a little calmer than we were five minutes ago. It’s crazy that we can fuck like we do, with everything that’s going on between us. As weird it is, it’s great for releasing all the tension our fighting creates.

But it can’t continue like this. I need answers and Erin really needs to start talking to me.

Erin steps toward me, her hands sliding around my waist as she rests her head on my chest, almost in defeat.

“Baby,” I start, sliding my hands down her back. “Whatever happens here. Whatever…whatever you decide to do. I’m not going anywhere, okay?” I say, pushing her back so she can see me when I tell her this. “I’m not leaving you.”

Erin swallows hard. “You sure about that?” she asks, resignation in her voice as though that’s exactly what she expects will happen.

I cup her face in my hands. “Yes,” I tell her. “I promise. It’s gonna take a lot more than your dad to scare me off, you know.”

“It’s not just my dad,” she says, exhausted as though she knows how this is all going to play out because it’s something she’s been through before. “It’s all the people who work for him. The people who still fucking work for him. If you stay, Ryan. If…” she stops, swallows again before continuing. “If you stay,” she repeats. “Then they’ll know about you. And when they know about you, it puts a target on your back…and...”

I drop my hands. “And you think I don’t already have a target on my back?” I ask, cutting her off. “That me killing a couple of his guys the other night doesn’t mean I’m not already fucking involved in all of this?”

“What?” Erin half yells, stepping backward. “You killed someone?”

I scrub a hand down my face, closing my eyes as I force myself to take a deep breath and remain calm. I can’t afford to lose it right now. Yelling at each other gets us nowhere and there are still things Erin needs to explain.

“I did,” I say, grabbing the soap. “The same night this happened,” I add, gesturing to my still bandaged arm. Thank fuck for water-proof bandages. “I shouldn’t even be telling you any of this Erin. But…”

“But you somehow still expect me to talk to you,” she says, immediately cutting me off as she slaps me across the chest.

“But,” I repeat, holding up my hands in concession to let her know I’m not trying to start a fight with her. Erin stares at me a second before dropping her hand as I move mine and start to work the soap over her body in an attempt to distract her. “I understand there are some things you need to know. That it’s only fair I tell you these things if I expect you to talk to me.” Erin says nothing at my words now, so I continue. “What happened in the warehouse,” I say, “I didn’t know all of that was connected to your dad. We’d been watching these guys for a while and we knew a big gun deal was going down, but I didn’t know it was connected to your dad. The first I realized he was involved was when someone found the photo and showed it to me that night.”

“When exactly was he arrested?” Erin asks, her words quiet.

I pause. “You didn’t know he’d been arrested?”

She shakes her head. “Not until I got that subpoena,” she says. “I left that life behind, remember? And I made sure I never gave them any opportunities to find me.”

I exhale, knowing whatever she’d done in the past obviously hadn’t worked because they have found her. The subpoena is proof of that. “He was arrested about a month ago,” I say. “Nothing to do with our thing, it’s all unrelated charges, but it looks like we can add to those now. Seems we now have a connection,” I add, knowing there is one thing I still need to ask her about. “Who’s the other guy in the photo, Erin?”

I watch as she avoids eye contact now, stepping under the water to rinse off before she gets out of the shower. I shut off the water and follow her, both of us drying off in silence.

“He’s my dad’s right-hand guy,” she eventually says, still not looking at me. “I guess he probably runs things for him now. It was always in the cards and the way it was supposed to happen,” she adds. “He picks a guy and he practically becomes a son to my father. Learning everything, getting involved in… everything.”

The way she says that last part is like a punch to the gut because I know it isn’t just the family business she’s referring to. Erin says nothing more though, just walks out of the bathroom and into her bedroom where she pulls on some sweats and a t-shirt. I do the same, both of us standing awkwardly as we wait for the other to speak.

Eventually I sit on the bed, pulling her down beside me. “Finn told me who he is,” I say, not letting go of her hand. Erin nods, but says nothing. “Did they help you?” I ask, changing tact. “Finn and Pop?”

Erin nods again, taking a deep breath as she stares down at our joined hands. “Yeah,” she whispers. “Them and Kelsey,” she adds. “Beck had left by then.”

I nod, even though she isn’t looking at me. At least it confirms what Beck had told me and means I’m not the only one who’s been kept in the dark about all of this.

“Do you think this guy could have been the one to drop the photo in the warehouse that night?” I ask.

Erin slowly raises her head and looks at me. “Maybe,” she whispers. “Yeah.”

“Why would he have it?” I ask, swallowing hard. A part of me already knows the answer to my question, Erin’s body language all but confirming what Finn had told me earlier. But the other part of me really needs to hear her say it. I’m sick of all these secrets and lies.

I watch as she bites her bottom lip. I can tell she’s nervous, but honestly, so am I. It’s hard enough knowing she’s related to Fitzgerald, but to think she might have been in even deeper, that she might have been connected to all of this shit in much more intimate and personal ways. That scares the shit out of me, especially knowing this guy is still out there and is still carrying a picture of her around with him.

“His name is Anthony Macklin,” she finally says. “He’s worked for my dad for as long as I can remember,” she repeats. “He used to…” she stops, looks down at our hands again.

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