Page 113 of Consummation

“No, you’re just a dumbshit of epic proportions.”

“Apparently,” I agree.

“Watch it and pay careful attention to the difference between the first and second proposals. That’ll tell you everything you need to know about what she wants the second time around.”

I exhale. “Shit. I’m an idiot.”

“You really are.”

“Damn. I’ve got a lot of homework to do.”

“I’ll grab my hotspot out of my room so you can download all the movies onto your iPad. The hotel Wi-Fi is for shit.”

“Thanks, bro.”

Jonas gets up and moves toward the French doors.

“Hey, Jonas?”

Jonas stops and turns around, his eyebrows raised.

“I don’t know what I would have done without your help on this. I was really stressed out and now I feel like I’ve got a plan of attack. Thank you.”

“No thanks required,” Jonas says. “I’m not doing this for you—I’m doing it for me.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. If you marry Kat, then Sarah will be insanely happy, which will makemeinsanely happy. Happy wife, happy life.” He smiles from ear to ear. “Very, very happy life.”

“Ah. Well, you’re a selfish bastard, then.”

Jonas laughs and turns toward the French doors, but before he leaves, he turns back around. “Hey, by the way. What the fuck did you do to poor Kat earlier? I thoughtSarahwas a screamer. Holy fuck, Josh.”

I grin and take a long sip of my water—I’m a gentleman, after all.

“So I take it you found the books I sent you helpful?” Jonas asks.

My smile broadens. “Yeah. Definitely. Although what I did to Kat earlier was all me—no research required.” I snicker.

Jonas’ white teeth are glowing in the pre-dawn light. “Hey, whatever works—just as long as you keep your unicorn well fed, right?”

“Fuck yeah,” I say.

“Fuck yeah,” Jonas replies. He pauses. “Hey, if I didn’t happen to be out here on the balcony when you had insomnia, would you have asked me for help?”

I don’t reply.

“You can lean on me, Josh,” Jonas says earnestly. “It doesn’t always have to be you carrying me on your back all the time. I’m right here. I can help you sometimes, too.”

“Dude, are you on crack? I lean on you all the time,” I say. “You’re the man, Jonas—a fucking beast.”

Jonas flashes me a look of such unadulterated love and kindness, my heart squeezes in my chest.

“Now go get me that hotspot, cocksucker,” I say. “Or any second now you’re gonna make me wanna slap my own fucking face—I can feel it coming on now—and it’s way too early in the morning for me to be doing that shit.”

Thirty-Two

Josh

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