Page 69 of Revelation

“Serious, yes, but we were sort of blah in the physical department,” I say. “At least it was blah for me.”

“Ooph. I think maybe youdohave a Madonna-whore complex when it comes to guys, sis, whatever it’s called—like you somehow think the guys who turn you on the most can’t possibly be boyfriend material.”

I make a face. He might have a point there. Hmm.

“But that’s the whole point of this grand experiment we call life—finding the serious stuffandthe physical stuff all rolled up together into one fucking awesome person.

“How’d you get so deep at such a tender age?” I ask.

Dax grabs my hand and kisses it, a move that instantly makes me think of Josh.

“That’s not even a remotely deep thing to say, sis,” Dax says. “It’s pretty fucking basic. I think maybe you’re just particularly stupid when it comes to relationships.”

I know Dax is kidding, sort of, but I think he might be on to something here—I think I might very well be particularly stupid when it comes to relationships involving me. “I think when the sex is crazy-good-off-the-charts with a guy, it makes me kinda skittish in a twisted way,” I say. “Like I think things are too good to be true—and then I start shutting down emotionally to protect myself and the whole thing becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

Dax squeezes my hand but doesn’t reply.

“The thing is, with this guy Josh, the physical part is so freaking good, he could be Jeffrey Dahmer and I’d be like, ‘Oh, em, gee, Jeff, you’re such a sweetheart!’”

Dax laughs.

“And that scares me. I feel like I might have a huge blind spot. But on top of that, horror of horrors, he’s funny and sweet and generous, too, and he makes me feel really special.” I shake my head. “I guess I’m just trying to figure out if he’s really as perfect as he seems? Or if this is just too good to be true.”

“Well, have you seen any chopped up body parts in his freezer?”

“No, but I haven’t been to his house yet. Stay tuned.”

“He lives in L.A.?”

I nod.

“What does he do?”

“He runs some sort of investment company with his brother and uncle. Other than that, he climbs rocks with his brother and parties with rock stars and supermodels. Get this: he used to date Gabrielle LeMonde’s daughter.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, and that model that’s on all the Victoria’s Secret commercials—Bridgette something—the blonde with the perfect body? Her, too.”

“BridgetteSchmidt,” Dax says reverently. “Oh my God. She’s my top desert-island pick. Your guy datedher? Wow.”

“Well, actually, come to think of it, I don’t know if hedatedher, but he certainlydidher.”

“Damn, who the fuck is this guy? Jesus. I guess he’s a majorplayah-playah, huh? Maybe that’s the ‘not-so-perfect’ thing you’re afraid is lurking in the shadows of his tormented soul.”

I sigh. “He’s not as big a playah-playah as he sounds. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he definitely likes having sex with gorgeous women—when Josh Faraday is single, he’s apparentlyverysingle—but I don’t think he’s as much of a playboy as I initially thought. He had this long-term girlfriend he was really devoted to... ” I shrug. “But, then again, he had a heart attack on the phone just now when he thought I was trying to pin him down to something beyond next week.” I roll my eyes and lean my head back onto the back of the couch. “Aw, shit, I dunno, Dax. I need to just chill the fuck out and stop overanalyzing things. I’m acting like a chick.”

“You totally are. I’ve never seen you act like this. You know what you need to do?” Dax says. “Tap into your inner Peen. That’ll cure your chickiness right up.”

“Nobody should ever tap into their inner Peen,” I say. “Even Peen should stop tapping into his inner Peen.”

We both have a good laugh about that.

“So why did this Faraday guy send you a fucking Sybian?” Dax asks. “Did you lose a bunch of money to him in a high-stakes poker game and now you’ve gotta do porn to pay off your debt?”

“He’s not a porn king, Dax. Gimme some credit. He’s this—I don’t even know what he does, actually. Google him. His company is called Faraday & Sons—Joshua Faraday.”

Dax pulls out his phone and Googles while I talk.

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