Page 31 of Revelation

The table erupts again. Everyone but me is laughing so hard, they can’t breathe.

“Before?” Will says. “Oh shit. And you hadn’t eventoldher about any of ’em?”

Josh is laughing too hard to speak, so he simply shakes his head.

I look at Henn, desperate for an ally, and he flashes me a sympathetic frownie-face. “Hang in there, Kitty Kat,” he says above the fray.

Josh places his forehead down on the table, apparently spent from laughing so hard.

“Hey, at least you’ve only gotonetattoo on the prohibited list,” Will says. “I’m the loser withtwo.”

I open my mouth to apologize profusely, but nothing comes out. This is the most embarrassing moment of my life.

“Oh shit, hang on,” Josh says, trying to catch his breath from laughing. He raises his head from the table, and with great flourish, rolls up his sleeve to display the dragon tattoo on his beautiful, bulging bicep.

The whole table loses it again.

And I want to die. I truly want to die.

“YOLOanda dragon,” Will says. “Tsk, tsk.”

Josh wipes his eyes.

“And she said all that shit before she knew any of your tattoos? Aw, come on someone must have told her. She was just fucking with you.” Will looks at me. “Please tell me you were just fucking with him, Stubborn Kat.”

I shake my head, an apologetic look on my face. “I was just talking out my butt, being a total smart-ass.”

Will hits his forehead with his palm. “Truth is stranger than fiction, man. This is the best story, ever.”

Josh nods. “I seriously couldn’t believe it. We were texting and I just stared at my screen, like ‘oh my fucking God, I’ve hit the mother lode.’”

“Gosh darn it, Stubborn Kat,” Will says, putting on his cartoon voice. “She sniffs out your stupid tattoos and nails you to the wall with ’em.”

“Kinda the way some cats curl up with dying people at a nursing home,” Reed says, and everyone laughs. “Why didn’t you just tell her, man?” Reed asks Josh.

“No fucking way I was gonna tell her,” Josh says. “I figured I’d let her find out the good old fashioned way—by seeing my ass.” He winks and Reed and Will clink their glasses against Josh’s.

“Atta boy,” Reed says.

I’m peeking at the group from behind my hands, afraid to come out. My eyes drift to Henn again and he makes a face that tells me he feels my pain.

“Hey, Stubborn Kat,” Josh says. “Why don’t you tell the groupallof your amazing rules. Enlighten us. Amaze us with what a hip whippersnapper you are.”

“I believe a hip whippersnapper’s actually called a ‘hippersnapper,’” Will says.

Everyone at the table (except for me) laughs. I can’t stop hiding behind my hands. This is sheer pain right here.

“Aw, come on, babe. ‘You don’t make The Rules, you just enforce ’em.’ Remember?”

I shake my head. “There’s no way I’m making any declarations about what’s cool and what’s not in this crowd. Every man at this table could tattoo Bert and Ernie onto his forehead and make it look cool,” I say.

Will picks up his napkin and rubs it forcefully against his forehead. “Well, I guess now would be the time to remove this makeup on my forehead and show you...”

Everyone laughs, yet again.

“You’re not gonna enlighten us about all The Rules for Being Cool, Stubborn Kat?” Josh asks.

I shake my head.

---