Page 75 of The Chances We Take

“What does it look like? I brought breakfast.”

As I looked at the plates of waffles, bacon, and fruit, a memory flashed in front of me. One from when Ryker hadn’t been born and my mom wasn’t an alcoholic.

“Kids! Breakfast!” my mother called from the kitchen.

“Race you to the table!” I called out to Kacey and Cooper from my room.

The twins were six, and I was ten, and this was what Saturday mornings looked like every week. Stacks of waffles with syrup, strawberries, and whipped cream, and so much bacon.

I raced out of my bedroom, my feet pounding against the carpeted floor. Cooper came up behind me, and I held him back with a stiff arm as I slid into my seat at the table.

“You cheated, Reid!” he complained. His pouting didn’t last long as Mom dropped our plates in front of us and we ate until we were stuffed and could hardly move.

“Why did you do that?” I asked softly. My vision flickered back and forth between the beautiful girl standing in front of me and the food in her hands. I wanted so badly to understand why she was doing this and just be grateful, but my mind couldn’t process anything other than having to fend for myself.

“What do you mean?” She cocked her head to the side before setting the plates down at the small table by the dresser.

“I’ve never had anyone take care of me before,” I whispered, sitting back down on the bed. “Everyone else has always needed me.”

I grew up in a house where no one took care of me. Growing up was survival of the fittest, and I did everything I could to make it out in one piece. I didn’t have the luxuryof waiting around for someone to provide for me, not when everyone was relying on me.

She sat next to me, taking my hand in hers. “You don’t need to be the person everyone depends on. It’s okay to let someone take care of you for once.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know how.” It was the first time I’d ever admitted it out loud.

“Is it because of your mom?” Her deep eyes burned into me, like she was seeing my entire soul—every inch of me, scars and all.

“Yeah.”

“Reid.” Her tone was the most serious I’d ever heard in the time I’d known her, catching my attention instantly. “It’s not your fault.”

A numbness took over my body as I soaked in her words. I’d never thought maybe the reason I felt the need to solve everyone’s problems was because I didn’t know how to let someone else help me with mine. That instinctually, I put others before myself because I had to as a child.

When I didn’t answer, she spoke again, her voice gentle. “Do you want to go for a walk? Talk about it?” she suggested before turning her head toward the plates of food she had brought up. “We can reheat the food when we come back.”

I nodded, getting up from where I was sitting and walking to the door to open it for her.

It was early enough that it seemed most people hadn’t stirred from sleep yet, so the hotel hallways and lobby were deserted and quiet. It had been a long, late night for everyone, though.

We walked through the hallway in silence. I wasn’t sure if Isa was waiting for me to speak first or not. We werealike in that way. We didn’t push each other to talk when we weren’t ready, instead meeting one another where we were at.

We walked out the front hotel doors, still not having said a word. Tiny pieces of gravel crunched on the concrete under our feet as we turned a corner.

“My…Eileen wasn’t always sick. I don’t think the twins remember much of a time when she wasn’t, and Ryker definitely doesn’t remember, but I do.” I broke the silence, keeping my head down and watching my feet move forward, one in front of the other. “She used to cook breakfast for us every Saturday morning. Waffles and bacon.” I huffed a laugh out my nose.

“And I reminded you of that,” Isa murmured.

“Yeah. It’s not your fault, obviously. It’s just hard. It’s like no matter how hard I try, I can’t escape that part of my past. I don’t really talk about it with anyone. Not even Colter, really,” I admitted.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t really know. A part of me doesn’t want to burden anyone else with my problems and a part of me knows that I can get through it on my own.” I’d been doing it my whole life.

Isa went quiet. A few moments passed before she said anything. “I know it’s different, but I know where you’re coming from. Sometimes I feel like everyone expects me to be this happy, sunshiney person all the time.”

Taking a look at her, I thought about what she said about the expectations she felt everyone had for her. To always be optimistic. I’d never known Isa to be anything but.

“Deep down, I’ve always kind of felt like a stepping stone for people.” She sighed, looking straight ahead as wewalked. “I’m not throwing myself a pity party about it, though, either, it’s just something I’ve noticed. Everyone always seems to find someone better. I may be the best optionat the time, but the moment someone better comes along, I’m forgotten.

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