Page 95 of Rules of Association

Sandra, the pretty brunette who made the “little” comment like I was some kind of pet, was a friend from high school. She was from the North Seaside area which meant she was a country club girl. But she wasn’t snobbish or uppity in the way that so many of them were. She was actually really sweet and made funny digs at their other high school friend Juan from across the table.

Juan was an interesting one. He knew of my family and found it to be his favorite subject of conversation. But I suspected that was to keep conversation off of him and the embarrassing stories Con and Sandra kept bringing up about him as a high schooler.

Lastly there was Ria. A quiet, beautiful girl with dark skin and darker eyes. She claimed to have gone to college with Con, but she had no accent. She was American, and not from Rhode Island. She also didn’t talk much. Didn’t drink much. And didn’t engage much with the others, mainly talking only with Connor and Malcolm. I didn’t think she was shy, though. I think she just chose to stick closer to those two which gave me a weird itch, knowing another girl was as close to him as me. Could she be the girlfriend? The one Con had yet to officially tell me about

If so, I had no chance in this race…

Oh my God, what was I saying?There is no race to have a chance at in the first place, Ceci! Pull it together!

I might as well have been background scenery it was that clear I was never meant to be a part of this. They were all nice enough to include me in their conversations and take interest in my life, but it was obviously a reunion for them. They all knew each other in some capacity. Malcolm knew Ria from school, Sandra and Juan knew the two college friends from visiting Connor back in undergrad, and they all knew Connor as this big, lovable constant in their life.

I was just an addition to their otherwise perfect group. I didn’t have the prestige of saying I graduated from Oxford University like Malcolm or Ria. Or the talent to be a PGA Tournament winning pro golfer like Sandra. I didn’t even have the history to back up an otherwise mundane existence with simply being Connor’s longest friend, like Juan. Among the list of great people doing great things in this little circle, I was definitely the odd man out.

Con kept me included too. Keeping his soft hand close enough so that he could reach out and touch my knee whenever he noticed my attention slipping away. Including me in conversations and giving me time to contribute to everyone even if it didn’t really involve me. Watching my drink diligently just in case I needed another one.

He was good. He’d always been good, and he would always be good. But was I good enough for him?

Maybe his friends wanted to know the same thing.

“Ceci?” Malcolm cleared his throat from across the table. My eyes landed on his rich dark face and chocolate irises. “What do you do for work?”

“Not much,” I said truthfully.

“What do you do for fun?” he asked.

“Also not much. Nothing to note anyway.” I flicked a quick look at Con, but he was too busy glaring at his friend to notice.

You would think he’d take a hint, but he just went on. “Do you like computers like Con does?”

“Not at all.” I tried my hardest not to frown but my nice girl allowance was running out.

Malcolm leaned forward, as if he was suddenly fascinated by all of this. “So whatdoyou two have in common, then?”

I leaned forward too, my elbows falling against the knee of my crossed leg. “Is this some sort of test?”

He smiled, “What if it is?”

“Then I’d tell you I hate tests. And that you should shove yours up your British—” I glanced at Connor and seemed to remember right then that these were his friends. They had been his friendsfirst. If I fucked up and he decided he needed to get rid of someone, it would be me getting the boot. So straightening, I cleared my throat and amended what I had just been about to say. “Nose.”

Malcolm just grinned, seeming elated by the sparring, but I was already distracted. Looking over to Con before I could even help it, I frowned. This got me an intense stare in return. He held my eyes as he leaned in to grasp my knee. Squeezing and rubbing his big thumb along the inner seam.

I frowned even more.

Why was it me he was comforting? I was the one acting terrible. Well, I was acting like I normally acted, but I felt weird all of a sudden. Like Malcolm was too right in his interrogations. I knew me and Connor were a weird match, but I didn’t need him to point it out to Connor. I didn’t need him to bring it to my best friend’s attention that he’d gotten the short end of the stick. My family was already coming to realize it, I didn’t need Connor to wise up to it too.

Whatever.

I just needed to get through this. I clearly didn’t belong here with these perfect for him friends. And as Malcolm didn’t mind pointing out, I didn’t belong anywhere near him at all. But Connor was who I cared about. I was meeting these people for him, anything else could be examined later on. For now I just needed to meet his friends and play nice.

Ripping my eyes away from Con who was trying to communicate calming telepathic vibes to me through staring alone, I returned my attention to the rest of the group and smiled, hoping it didn’t come off as a grimace.

Con spoke before I could even rejoin the conversation, tightening his grip on my knee and saying, “Lay off Mal, not like the two of us have anything in common either.”

His eyes were like spears laying into his friends even as his voice remained calm, “You asked me every Friday for a year if I wanted to go out and party. I said no every time, or did you forget? I don’t think we have a single hobby in common and we’re still friends."

“Fair, mate. Fair.” Malcolm shrugged but as he leaned backward in his seat it looked like he was trying to smother a grin, flicking looks around the table at his other friends before meeting Connor’s eyes again. “Was just having some fun with your girl…friend.”

“Well, don’t,” Con said, Malcolm raising his hands immediately in surrender.

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