Page 44 of Rules of Association

“Don’t worry. It looked way worse from where you were. I was nowhere near the other cars. I was just messing with you.” I looked at her. She didn’t seem phased. But she did notice my apprehension and continued to coo reassuringly. “I swear. It was just like passing on a two-lane road. Super safe. I checked all my spots.”

I sighed. What could I say to that? What could I do? Not talk to her? I had come looking for her because I was worried about her. And now as she stood under me, bouncing with excitement as her yellow eyes glowed dark gold in the light of my driveway, I could see that at least right now, she was okay.

But was I?

Heart pounding in my ears, I expelled a breath. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Aw, you really do care,” she batted her eyelashes dramatically. I chuckled, but I had to force it out.

Jesus,she’s okay Connor. I tried to convince myself, pleading with my body to calm my racing heart. But I was doing a shit job at it. I could tell by the way her smile sobered, her head cocking in question as she watched me.

Clearing my throat I settled for distraction rather than control, asking, “Well, what do you want then?”

“What?”

“For your prize. You won. You get anything you want, remember?” I pushed out, finally finding enough strength to move toward my front door.

“Oh.” She had the nerve to shrug as she followed me inside. “I’ll let you know when I know.”

I wouldn’t tell her, but I needed a minute after that. So while she settled into the couch turning on the TV and flipping through streaming options, I booked it to the shower in my bedroom. Using the warm spray as some kind of coping mechanism, I tried to regulate my thoughts, my breathing, my everything. But no matter what I tried, the accelerator on my heartbeat wouldn’t let up.

I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with me.

Ceci was always like this. She was always impulsive, airing on the side of dangerous way too much of the time. Hell, I picked her up from a bar fight only a week ago. So why was this…fear that I was going to lose her suddenly taking over my senses? More than just a fear that she’d do something stupid to get herself hurt, but this anxiousness to show hersomething.

You know that feeling of sudden urgency that is almost overwhelming in the sense that time is running out. Like, even though you have a clear picture of what the future will eventually be, you need it to happen right this very second, to confirm it’s really true. When I closed my eyes and thought of Ceci, that’s how I felt.

Damn. I needed to get a fucking grip. Luckily, I had my siblings to help me with that.

Clint:We need to figure this out fast.

Clay:It’s like a spy movie.You’ve Been Hacked!

Clint:Is this somehow funny to you?

Clay:Kinda. Con told you about the security. Guess who didn’t listen.

Clint:How many times do I have to say it?

Clay:We know, we know. You’re incapable of standing up to your mother. WE GET IT.

Me:Either call each other or stop bickering in the group chat. I have like 63 new messages every time I look at my phone.

Me:I’ve been doing all I can from home, Clint. I’ll keep working on it, but not tonight.

Clint:?

Clay:??

Me:I’m off tonight.

Clint:It’s the girl you’re seeing, isn’t it?

Clay:My god, it was true!?

Clint:I told you.

Tiney:I’m late! What did I miss? Con, did you get home okay?

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