Page 23 of Rules of Association

“Figure your shit out, boys. You won't like it if I have to figure it out for you.”

* * *

I’m genuinely convinced that growing up on the beach, you are psychologically hardwired to process things better the closer you are to the water. No science could discount the countless times this has worked for me. It was just one of those crazy facts of life. The cool waves of the Atlantic brought peace and clarity to my brain. Or at least it usually did. But as I sat down at the edge of the shore, letting the water lick my feet as it pushed up and back with the tides, I still hadn’t found the clarity I was looking for.

I sat and watched the waves as they crashed over themselves, but I wasn't really seeing anything. My vision was too blurred with the memories of the morning plaguing my brain. My mother’s words, careless yet…true? Were the things I wanted really anything special? Or were they just dreams of a child I hadn’t been able to let go?

I was probably nine when I took apart my first computer. I was nine and three months when I was grounded for taking apart that brand-new computer when I wasn’t able to put it back together successfully. But by nine andfivemonths (using all that time locked up on punishment), I built it back. And thus my fascination with all things computers began.

I was almost just as young when the comments started.‘Put those toys away, Connor.’ ‘Get it out of your system now, Connor.’ ‘Focus on something actually important, Connor.’And on and on they went. In our house it wasn’t about the business or seen as something that would eventually benefit the business, it wasn’t heard. And if it couldn’t make money, it wasn’t valued. So I’d set out to make my interests more valuable by attaching a fancy degree to it, and still, they found a way to discount that too.

“Guess who.”

Small hands covered my eyes from behind me, the palms familiar enough that I didn’t reach to dislodge them right away. Instead, I leaned back, cocking my head and murmuring, “Don’t tell me, don’t tell me. It’s got ten toes and ten fingers thatmostlywork.”

A soft giggle filled my ears, making my heart move and my chest instantly lighter. I didn’t hear her come up behind me, but it wasn't hard to decipher who it was, especially after that laugh. The one she used with only me.

“Okay, now guesswhat,” she said. Behind me, I felt her sliding down to the sand, presumably on her knees at my back, her hands still covering my eyes.

“Definitely alcohol,” I said without even hesitating.

She smacked her lips, huffing. “Damn, I need to work on my sneak attack, huh?”

Reaching up, I wrapped my hands around her smaller ones and pulled them away from my eyes. Turning slightly, I took in the form behind me. It wasn’t so late that the sun had disappeared just yet. So, looking at the girl at my back with her color changing hair looking extra red in the burning glow of the sun and those eyes doing the same, she glowed.

“Hi,” I said, my mouth only able to form a half-smile even though I was always happy to see her. She zeroed in on it, her smile faltering and her eyes lowering as they surveyed my face.

“Hi,” she said, frown still intact. Shuffling around me she pulled out something from beside her and started messing with it. Before I knew it, she was holding a full shot glass out to me. I lifted an eyebrow, but she merely extended the offering further in my direction.

I took it, my large fingers wrapping around her smaller ones momentarily as I did. “I don’t really want this.”

“You need it.”

“Why’s that?”

“You seemed down today,” she shrugged. Landing those burning irises on me, she nodded toward the shot demanding me to take it with that look alone.

I let my eyes fixate on that frown. So contradictory from her actions. I would never tell her this, but she could be so sweet sometimes. Caring and gentle and sweet in the most natural of ways. Never fake or manufactured, just sugar in a pure form. Just like honey. Created from a species that could sting, but who also made sweet things. Sweeter and sweeter the more you had of her. My own honey. And I loved it.

Unimpressed with my staring, Cee narrowed her eyes. “Drink.”

Reaching around her I picked up the bottle and extended it toward her. “Drink with me.”

Her eyebrows shot up, but she wrapped her hands around the neck of the bottle anyway, scooting herself around to her butt as she plopped down next to me. “Feeling needy, Con?”

I shrugged, simply holding my shot toward her for a toast. Softly, she clinked her handle to my tiny shot and in unison we both drank. Quiet surrounded us as we just sat there, listening to the waves and letting the alcohol sink in. As much as I could argue Ceci was sweeter than she came off, she was not patient. Tossing a look around her shoulder, she whipped her head toward me with a frustrated grunt.

“What happened?"

“How do you know something happened?” I asked, holding my tiny glass out for another hit.

“Do you meanotherthan me finding you out on the beach looking this close to jumping in?” She asked, mimicking just how close she thought I was to dunking myself in the Atlantic by pinching her thumb and index finger less than an inch apart. “Your little fitness tracker shares your activity with me. When I saw you were at it forfour hours,I figured you were either toning up for some kind of Speedo contest I don’t know about, or something had to have happened.”

I felt my laugh more than I heard it. “Hate to break it to you, Cee, but it’s the Speedo contest. Think I have a chance?”

She clicked her tongue, “I’d have to see the whole package to say for sure.”

My mouth quirked. Setting the shot glass down, I leaned back against my hands as I glanced over at her. “Trying to get me naked, Fernandez?”

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