Page 192 of Rules of Association

My stomach curled. Regret hitting me straight in the heart. I pressed my lips together to keep from frowning.

Here stood the girl of my dreams.My girl. And she was looking at me like I had broken her heart.

Reaching my arm out, I beckoned her to me and she came without hesitation. It never stopped pleasing me that she always came when I called.

Ox and Tine watched with rapt attention as Ceci tucked herself under my arm. I didn’t pay them any mind, though. Just rubbing long soothing lines up and down her shoulder. My other hand going to the side of her face and angling her vision up to me. She shuddered into my touch and opened her eyes to reveal those pure honeycomb golds I fucking loved.

I thumbed away a tear, taking care to be gentle, at least with my hands. Because I knew I couldn’t be so gentle with my words. Not right now. Not if I wanted this time to be any different.

And Ineededthis time to be different.

“It’s time, honey. Alright? No more waiting,” I said. “No more hiding.”

She sniffled but nodded. Her voice was watery as she said, “Okay.”

Tucked into each other, we made our way deeper into the garden for more privacy.

Breaking away from me she began a slow pace. “Just do it then. I'm ready.”

I eyed her suspiciously. “Just what do you think I'm going to do, Celestia?”

This brought out her attitude just a little bit and I never thought I’d see the day I was grateful for it, but I saw a little bit of herself in the flash in her eye.

“I don’t know, Con. Yell at me? Call me a bitch? Cuss me out? We both know I deserve it.”

She sort of did. But I shook my head anyway. “I’m not doing that, Cee.”

She whirled around to look at me. “You’re not?”

I shook my head.

“Then what?” she asked.

I looked at her. Standing there strong as hell even after she’d just broken apart. For me. As horrifying as seeing that side of Cee had been, it was hard to forget that it had all been for me. It was my goal for that to never happen again, but in order for that to be a reality I needed to know what did happen.

Inclining my head to her I said. “I want to hear it from you.”

She stopped moving. Looking at me with her own narrowed eyes. “You what?”

“A lot obviously went on. You’re obviously upset. I need to hear what happened from you,” I motioned toward her in a‘let’s go’sort of way.

She looked horrified, like she wanted me to bail her out and talk first, but I wouldn’t this time. As an unnamed party on social media told me through a messenger app, I had been enabling Ceci by sparing her feelings and by holding back my own. I was done doing that. I would get and give it to her straight from now on.

Inclining my chin at her, I said, “I’ve talked all summer, Ceci. It’s your turn now.”

She stared at me from her spot a few steps away. Her eyes held mine, searching them for answers she did not find. So she continued to probe. “You want me…to tell you what I’ve been going through?”

“That’s what I said.” I smirked.

She ripped her gaze away from me and resumed her pacing. This time shaking her hands out like she was shaking something off of them. Nerve-wracking energy dripped off of her and after several moments of her not saying a goddamn thing, I grunted.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t know what to say to me?”

“No.”

---