Page 127 of Rules of Association

“That was payback for knocking me over,” I said, making her glare. In sync, we both laid back onto our backs and sighed. After a minute, I let my head fall over to look at her curly one. “Hey, Ferg?”

“Hmm?” she asked. She had her eyes closed and was breathing deeply as she rested.

“What do you remember about your wedding day?”

Her face scrunched a little, but she didn’t open her eyes or even move at all. “Um. Hmm—To be honest, I don’t remember many details, Ceci. It was a hard time for me back then.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, feeling a little bad for bringing it up. But if it was making her uncomfortable, she would have told me. “But if you had to saysomething, what would you?”

“I guess I remember being scared. I was nervous Ox would be like before, you know? I remember Ox at the altar, he was telling me to breathe and calming me down. And I remember brunch. He and I had a little argument,” she said.

“You don’t remember me spilling water in Clay’s lap?” I asked. “Or him calling me every short joke in the book?”

Her eyes bugged out of her head. “No! When did that happen?”

“At brunch. We were sitting right across from you.”

She hummed. “No, I don’t remember that at all. I guess I was a little preoccupied.”

I hummed too. “What about the hospital? When you first woke up?”

“I remember a lot of things from then. There was a lot going on.”

“What do you remember most?”

“Ox,” she said, this time more definitively. “He was a wreck. I remember being so tired and I remember him.”

“Do you remember us standing outside the window?”

She screwed her face up in a way I could tell meant, ‘not really’. And I couldn’t help but think back to what I remembered about her waking up in the hospital after such a huge scare.

Connor had texted as soon as he got word that his sister had woken up. I told my family directly after that. Ox was already at the hospital, having snuck out in the middle of the night somehow, and the rest of us were congregating at his house. Taking care of minor housekeeping items that had gone forgotten in the craziness of the ordeal.

We got to the hospital as soon as we could, and when we did Ox was in the room with a frail but standing Clementine in his arms and the three Ferguson boys were outside the window looking in. I immediately went to Connor’s side and without even looking over at me he reached down and grabbed onto my hand.

He held my hand so tight that day. He didn’t let go until I gently informed him that it was time to leave.

That day, I remembered Ferg waking up and being so happy that she was okay. And I remembered him. That’s it.

I guess that’s what Jen meant by a bubble. But it couldn’t be exclusive for love could it? Or at least not romantic love. Ox and Ferg had been homed in on each other since the moment they realized they were getting married. I think they fell for each other not long after. Me and Con were different. Our bubble was different. It had to be.

“Are you asking me all these things because you’re trying to tell me I’m self-centered or something?” she asked, letting her head flop to the side as she looked at me.

“No, Ferg. Just curious,” I said, trailing off as my brain wandered into a zone of unrest. Not quite thinking of anything, just buzzing with a little bit of everything.

We lingered in the comfortable silence for a moment before she turned over slightly on her side.

“So, this probably won’t come as much of a surprise,” she started, voice soft as she looked at me. “But you’re pretty good at this, Ceci. Kind of a natural.”

“Natural what?”

“Leader!” she said way too excitedly. “This is going to be a cake walk for you!”

I hummed. Even though I was inexperienced and didn’t know a lot of what I was doingyet, I kind of agreed. Yet, for some reason that made me sad.

Ferg looked at me for a quiet second. “Why doesn’t that make you happy? Doesn’t that mean you can stop this war you have going on with your family and come home?”

I didn’t bother telling her that there wasn’t a “war” or that I wasn’t avoiding them. I knew she would call me on my bullshit. I just heaved out another long breath.

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