Page 111 of Rules of Association

“Say something,” she whispered. The red in her cheeks spreading through her neck to the middle of her chest.

Smiling softly, I nodded. Dipping my head down low I dropped my lips on the top of her cheekbone. Light and quick so that I might trick my brain into thinking it didn't want to linger there for hours. When I lifted and caught her eye again I smiled more, telling her I understood.

And so that she understood me, loud and fucking clear, I cleared my throat and agreed. “I’m yours.”

Chapter Twenty-four

CECI

My days passed in numbers. Numbers that made up punching sequences. Numbers that counted down the minutes until I could be at the fighting gym again. Numbers that signified my family’s growing calls crossing my screen. And numbers that tallied the times I caught myself thinking of Connor Ferguson in inappropriate ways.

Especially after the closet.

Intervention from God himself wouldn’t have been enough to prepare me for what happened in Connor’s childhood room, that night. I was still recovering from it. The way his hands covered me, the way he put his mouth on me. The way his words sounded like molten versions of his usual speech. Hot and sexy and sort of punishing.

The way I’d wanted even more.

Stop Ceci.

The whole ordeal of the night had been a mistake. I had only shown up at their stupid dinner because I had to. Ox all but dropped Fergy off at my apartment door so she could beg me to go with her to her family’s house in North Seaside and the last thing I’d wanted to do was make an appearance in front of Con’s friends so soon after the night at the bar. But knowing how nerve-racking the family visits could sometimes be for Ferg, I couldn’t say no.

So I loaded her up in my car and drove her out there.

I was already nervous about keeping up our lies in front of Connor’s family, so Fergy not being able to shut up aboutRia this and Riathat, while insisting that her and Con would be “perfect” together had set me on edge. That coupled with the oh so welcoming‘what the hell is she doing here?’greeting I received at the front door and my mood officially circled the crapper before I even stepped foot in the house.

The whole night, the girl did nothing but follow Connor around. It was like she was his shadow, popping up out of nowhere just to whisper something that made him laugh or offer him something that he’d been searching for, or just sit with him when it was supposed to be me sitting with him. Me getting him things. Me being by his side.

It was so obvious that Clay, the big fucking idiot, had paused as we both watched Connor and Ria balance a round of too many drinks in too little hands and scoffed to me, “Perfect for each other, right?”

I just looked at him. That motherfucker always said the stupidest shit, from the very first time I met him with his snide insensitive annoying-ass commentary. Yet, I don’t think I’d ever wanted to strangle the shit out of him more.

Instead of wringing his neck though, I just shoved past him saying, “Fuck off, Clay.”

Which generated a startled grumble from him as he whined, “What thehellis wrong with everyone tonight?”

The whole thing annoyed me, but moreover it solidified my suspicion that I had finally found out the mysterious girlfriend. At least, I thought.

And because of that, I assumed it would be okay to hang out with a certain other friend who didn't boil my blood into this ugly jealous feeling I didn't understand, like the girlfriend did.

Turns out I was wrong. Very wrong, if Connor’s words and hands and fucking teeth had anything to say about it.

And he hada lotto say about it.

The things he said about it were still living in my brain, circling my stomach with these unbearable butterflies. And the way I could still hear the roughness of his voice—the sureness of it, as he told me ‘I’m yours’—did things to me that I was still finding hard to understand. Awakening things in my chest, my stomach, and the place in between my legs, just the same.

Now it was Thursday again, another week gone and I still couldn’t get the hot feeling of his breath on me or his teeth or that kiss he put along my cheek out of my head.

Not the way my nipples had pebbled when his hands were around my throat. Or how my center had warmed, getting slick and hot as he pinned me to the wall. And definitely not the tremorous beat of my heart as I endured his teasing in the dark of his closet.

I couldn’t get any of it out of my head, even as I forced myself to get it together and try to think clearly for the good of this friendship.

But that was just it, it was all in my head. As long as I never let it out, never let it get too far, we’d be good, right?

Stepping out into the late night, I tried to shake the building thoughts from my mind. Con had just brought me back to the shelter where my car sat waiting for me after another self-defense class. I ran back in to grab something, thinking Con would just wait for me to meet him when I was done, but coming out with my favorite blue hand wraps in tow, I was startled to see that he wasn’t there.

That was weird.

We were going to the shelter a lot lately. “We” because Con didn't like me coming this way by myself so he often came by to pick me up or simply walk me out.Iwas coming to the shelter more and more these days because something weird was going on with the staff that I couldn’t quite place. They were down two social workers out of the blue, so I was picking up extra shifts to offset their obvious need for more help. Christine and Nina wouldn’t tell me what happened, but from what I could tell all hell was breaking loose and they were holding things together just barely on a good day.

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