Page 99 of Of Blooming Embers
He held his head in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. His damp hair was a mess, as if he had wrung his fingers through the ebony waves too many times. Strands hung over his brow, shielding his face. His breeches slung on his hips, and his wet tunic clung to every corded muscle visible in the hearth’s flickering glow.
I stepped further from the shadows, walking into the firelight, toward him—into his burning orbit. My silken shift rustled against the corner of his bed. His head snapped up, his dark eyes a blazing emerald inferno scorching through my very soul.
“Leave,” he rasped and then let his head drop. Pain sank into his features as he stared at the stone floor like he was trying to bury himself beneath it.
I knew him like I knew my own breath. He was deep in self-loathing. I didn’t need to reprimand him again because he was torturing himself far worse than I ever could.
“No,” I whispered. I crept closer to him, my spine taut with anticipation. Of what, I wasn’t sure.
“Little Star, you must leave me.” His words were defeated, ripe with regret and shame.
I stood in front of him, my curves invading his space, gently nudging his legs to accommodate me as I planted myself between his muscled thighs.
His lips pressed together in a scowl, a warning rumbling behind his caged teeth. His long fingers slid over his upper legs and clamped onto his knees, tense and stiff.
My heart slammed against my ribcage, threatening to crack it open. To escape and reveal everything I’d been hiding from him.
From myself.
“I can’t, Gavrel,” I murmured.
Tentative fingers trembled as I reached for him. My fingertips grazed the side of his face, smoothing the loose strands over his ear. I pressed my lips together, my pulse throbbing within them.
He leaned into my touch, squeezing his eyes shut. He looked as if he was in pain. His fingers dug into his thigh muscles, his wide chest straining against the clinging material. “I broke my vow. I don’t deserve you. I can’t … I can’t tell you why.”
“Try.” My fingertips pulsed against his skin. “I’m here.”
His neck strained, fighting something within. He groaned, thumping his fist against his heart. “Ican’t. It won’t let me,” he growled. “But I … It had to be done, and doesn’t matter now. It’s better if you leave me—safer that way.”
It was a struggle to breathe. Every ragged lungful tore from me, tumbling into his throaty inhalations. Our breaths blended and twirled as if trying to become one.
A place behind my ribs seared into the bony cage. Was I feeling a fraction of what he felt?
“Does your talisman … Does it prevent you from telling me about our bond?” The words were husky, full of hope.
He crunched his eyelids closed, nodding shakily, biceps tense.
“Then I’m right where I want to be.” The words were the most honest thing I’d ever said aloud. “Besides, if I left, you’d find me … to the Nether Void and beyond, yes?”
39
LITTLE STARS
SERYN
His eyes snapped open. They were wild, the black of his pupils overtaking the green as he studied my face. He was a hungry beast looking for any sign that I’d run.
I squared my feet, my fingernails raking through his hair. My palm rested on his nape, steady and warm. I wasn’t going anywhere.
His gaze penetrated mine as his jaw ticked. His skin was still wet from the rain, yet my fingertips burned from the heat radiating from him. He smelled like the meadow after a storm.
He smelled like home.
He was my home.
I leaned into him, my nipples straining against the soft fabric of my shift. He drew in a shaky breath, his thick chest heaving.
Twisting tendrils slipped off my shoulders, ruddy curls dancing in the firelight. They grazed his chest and shoulder as I whispered, “And I’ll always want you … to find me.”
