Page 24 of Of Withering Dreams
I sighed and took a deep breath, calming my spiraling thoughts.Get ahold of yourself, woman,I scolded myself, sitting up straight and rolling my shoulders.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I glued a smile on my face.
“I don’t believe you.”
I mumbled something unintelligible.
“What was that, sweet sister?” Letti asked.
I picked up the muffin and tossed it at her plate. “I’m fine, oh loving sister of mine. Eat your breakfast.”
She laughed, picking up her muffin and taking a big bite. “Here if you need me. Besides, you’re humming while you eat. So, it can’t be that bad.”
The corners of my lips curled as I nodded at her and continued eating. We left our table shortly after to start our chores for the day.
As we approached the exit, Kaden and Gavrel walked in. Kaden’s eyes immediately found mine, imploring. My head swayed briefly as we greeted them. One of Gavrel’s eyebrows raised at the formality of our conversation, but I was too worn out to mind. We each went our separate ways without further discussion. I’d process our little rendezvous later.
After I finished my work for the day, I longed to explore the grounds further. Throughout the day, Mr. Burlam hadn’t sniped at me much, despite being as cantankerous as ever. Maybe he felt a speck of sympathy after seeing me scurry out of the library last night. Scoffing, I dismissed the silly notion.
The afternoon sunlight soaked into me as I wandered to the mainland. I went to the fence along the cliff, staring into the deep ravine below. The river crashed relentlessly into the jagged cliff. Leaning my forearms on the wooden barrier, I closed my eyes and lost myself to the whooshing of the waterfalls to my left, allowing the sound to wrap me in a buzzing haze of solace.
“Seryn,” Kaden murmured, resting on the fence beside me. I hadn’t noticed him approach. His hair was damp with sweat, making him look rugged. Strong. Stupidly handsome.Damn him.
“I’m all right. I needed to get my thoughts together.”
“I’m sorry if I scared you last night.”
“You didn’t scare me. I … I enjoyed what happened.” I looked over at him, a smile creeping along his lips. The very lips I had kissed last night. “But we’re best friends, Kade. I don’t want to ruin that.”
“But—”
“Listen, can we just forget about it? Go back to normal for now?”
His lips pressed together, a glower etching into his face as he watched the violent currents below. “For now.”
I’d known him long enough to appreciate the restraint he was showing. He wanted to say more but was giving me what I wanted.For now.
“Walk with me?” I bumped his shoulder with mine, and a cheerless smile lifted the corners of his mouth. We strolled silently for a while, observing others in the training field and taking in the vibrant landscape around us. My thoughts wandered as we moved, drifting in and out of various memories and musings.
I peeked at Kaden and then forward again, releasing a puff of air. Over the turns, I’d had dalliances with a couple of young men at home. Though it never went beyond kissing and touching. I still possessed my maidenhead, but it wasn’t something I was concerned about one way or the other.
The heat—the burning desire—to go further with them had eluded me. If I had wanted to, I would have. At the time, I had more pressing concerns; ensuring my family had enough to eat every day being the main one. However, it frustrated me that I had wanted—no,needed—to go further last night.
With my best friend.
Kaden certainly had broken some hearts over the turns, even if unintentionally. He’d bedded at least two women in our village that I knew of. One a few turns older than us and one our age. Both were left mourning the loss of a relationship that had never begun. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, my gaze drawn to his plump lips.
Stop.
I looked ahead, concentrating on the colorful hues of the Reverie Weald.
One of Kaden’s most admirable traits was his absolute candor—even when you didn’t want it. I grinned. We shared almost everything, maybe to a fault. I wasn’t sure anymore.
At the time, Kaden had told me he’d been honest with each woman, informing them he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. But alas, the heart was a fickle creature, digging its way through any sane person’s sensibilities. I should know. If I was honest with myself, the random thought of Kaden and me being together had sporadically slipped into my notice over the turns.
But it was foolish. If our friendship had been left in shambles …
It.
