Page 223 of River & Crown
"Are you done with your past, or do I have to feed Grim and Ghost his bones?" he asked without a glance in my direction.
"You drugged me, and you have the nerve to ask me about a nigga who doesn't matter."
All the anger I felt since Sincere became a topic in our relationship came flooding back.
"That's not an answer, Four. I need you to say it. Your past doesn't matter to you anymore."
Crown's voice was low and strained, but I still heard the ache in his tone. It was the same one I'd been carrying since my birthday.
"I get it now," I mumbled.
"Four—" he started.
"Listen to me, Crown, because what I have to say, you need to hear. If you don't, there won't be an us."
Crown turned away from the window, and when he looked at me, all I saw was a storm brewing in his browns. Fear, regret, and love were swirling like an unwanted tornado.
"Go ahead, Four," he insisted, pressing his lips into a hard line.
"When I met you, I was drowning in grief. Some days it would rage, drowning me, pulling me under until I couldn't breathe. I thought I had to outrun it, so that's what I did. I used men to avoid it, but you...you weren't someone I could use."
"Four, get the fuck outta my face with all these river analogies," he snapped. Every time Crown and I tried to talk about this, I let him back me down, but not this time.
"No, you need to hear this, so shut up and fucking listen!" I stepped away from the couch and walked in his direction. Once close enough, I grabbed hold of his shirt and forced him to look at me.
"I wasn't supposed to outrun it. I had to learn to wade through it. Let it carry me instead of fighting it."
His brow furrowed. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying..." I took a breath, gathering every piece of my broken heart. "That my grief carried me to love... your love."
"We already know my heart belongs with you. That was never our problem."
My voice cracked.
"I know. But when I say it carried me to your love, I mean it led me to a man who affirms me in ways no one else has. A man who protects me in ways my soul understands. A man who sees and accepts me... the broken pieces included. With you, I let go and let love."
"River... you're saying a lot without saying shit," he murmured, a smirk tugging at his mouth.
I laughed through my tears. With trembling fingers, I unclipped the gold chain from around my neck. A ring slid off into my hand.
"I love you, Crown. I love you so much that it hurts, and so deep it doesn't have an end. You could walk away right now, and I'd still love you. Cortez 'Crown' Gravehart, I love you, I'm in love with you, and whether you like it or not, I'm doing life with you."
I grabbed his left hand and slipped the ring onto his finger fast. It clicked into place, locking tight.
"The fuck is this?" he muttered, looking down.
"That's our forever."
He chuckled, shaking his head. "You proposing to me, Four?"
"Boy, don't be foolish." I giggled through sniffles. "This ring isn't a proposal, it's a promise. Even when you're not mine... you are mine. It's proof I'm willing to wait. You chased me long enough, so now it's my turn to do some running."
Crown inspected the white gold band with diamonds along its surface. Near the edge, where only he would see, was my name,River 'Four' Gravehart, etched in script. It was my way of carving a silent vow into something unbreakable. Because thisring wasn't just jewelry, it was memories, my devotion, a new beginning, and our forever, all wrapped around his finger.
"River." He grinned. "You're finally letting me see you, and she's as beautiful as I pictured. But if I'm being honest, I'm done."
My heart froze, and the world cracked in half. My knees buckled, my voice caught, and the tears came fast and merciless.
