Page 209 of River & Crown
"Don't touch my fucking sister!" she shouted, making the grown woman flinch. "None of y'all said a word when he shoved her, so don't say shit now!"
Nobody said a thing until we were walking away. When we got outside the park, Chosyn finally turned to me.
"I know you're not like me—" she started.
"I want to be," I muttered, cutting in.
She looked at me, then smiled. "Trust me, you don't," she said. "You're exactly who you're supposed to be at nine. Sometimes I forget that. I try to turn you into me, and that's not fair. Stay the sweet little girl that you are and let me deal with the bad stuff, okay?"
My throat felt tight, but I nodded.
"Choyce."
I blinked the memory away as I looked down at Kage's hand resting gently on my thigh. His thumb moved just enough to ground me and bring me back to now.
"I'm okay, Kage," I huffed and turned toward the window.
I hated this feeling of yearning for a time when things were simpler. When I could just be and didn't have to brace myself for the bad stuff because my big sister faced it for me. Back then, I woke up every morning excited to see what the day would bring. Now I wake up on edge, always calculating, always fighting to survive. Every day was war, and I was doing everything in my power not to bleed out.
"What happened back there?" Kage asked, refusing to let it go.
I exhaled through my nose, forcing myself not to shut down. "Chosyn showed up being Chosyn," I muttered.
"Can you blame her?"
I didn't take offense at Kage siding with my sister because he was right.
"Chosyn has every right to be mad," I agreed, looking out the window. "But when does curiosity kick in? When does knowing me count for something? She was there. She saw who I was before all of this. The little girl who couldn't speak up for herself. She raised me. Yet, all she sees now is a liar, manipulator, and the woman who played her into killing her own father."
My throat tightened because, through it all, I still needed my sister, but Chosyn made it clear every chance she got how she didn't need me.
"And I still don't understand why she's so hung up on that when I saved her. Chance was going to force her to marry Killian. Killing him was the only way out. She got her happily ever after because of me. Not Wolfe. Not River. Me. Her fucking sister."
Kage nodded slowly, letting it settle. "I hear you. Don't think I don't. A lot of the shit you went through with Talon, I was there for. Just like Chosyn got her reasons, you have yours."
"But," I said, already feeling it creep in.
"But," he agreed. "You gotta own your part in this, too. You played with that girl's head for months, Choyce."
"I wasn't ready to?—"
"It doesn't matter," he cut in, voice low. "The second you hit send on that first text, you crossed a line. I told you not to play it that way. Then you showed up and acted like you didn't know what was going on, playing innocent, playing scared. From where I'm sitting? You're lucky."
I scoffed. "Lucky?"
"Yeah. Lucky, Choyce. You told me yourself that Chance raised Chosyn to be a killer. You're lucky she's only icing you out and not burying you next to him."
"Chosyn wouldn't," I muttered, shaking my head.
"Maybe not theyoushe raised, but you now?" He shrugged. "You're not that sweet girl anymore. You haven't been for a while, but you're not all the way gone either."
I turned to him, eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
My phone buzzed in my hand with Honor's name on the screen.
"Answer it. We'll finish this later," Kage said.
I sighed, swiping to answer. "Now's not a good time, Honor."
