Page 171 of River & Crown
"Don't say the beginning," he forced out through clenched teeth.
"But it's true. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. You are the only man outside of?—"
"Don't," he rasped.
"Other thanhim, you are the only man to ride with me while I raced. If it wasn't love at first sight, then why did I let you in my car? It wasn't to prove a point, as I had tried to make it seem. I let you in because when I looked at you, I saw what my future could look like. I was myself with you, and that's someone I hadn't been in a while. I saw someone who had the potential to protect my heart, even though I had no plans of giving it to you."
I moved from underneath the blanket, making sure I didn't startle him in any way. However, Crown didn't speak. His eyes never left mine, and his gun followed my every move.
"I love you," I whispered. My voice cracked, but I didn't stop. "I need you to believe that. I love you more than anything in this world and beneath this earth."
Crown's movements were subtle, but I saw the way his left hand inched toward me before he pulled it back.
"I don't care what I said in a dream. I let him go. I choose you, even if you don't choose me back."
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. Under his stare, I felt vulnerable and bare. Crown was good for that, though.
"Crown," I called out, wanting to make sure he was still with me. "You're the only one who sees me. Who I am at my core is flawed. I made mistakes that a simple apology won't fix, I get that, but I don't get you thinking my love for you isn't real."
The silence stretched. I took my time standing up, and his gun followed, rising an inch for every step I took.
"But this," I said, ghosting my hand over his wrist. "This isn't love. This isn't us. I'm not Emily, and you're not the man you were when you... well, you know. What you're feeling right now is pain, and as a man, you want to disguise that, but that's not who you are. You're not him, Crown. Don't let my mistake turn you into the man you despise."
His chest rose with a silent gasp, and I let out a much-needed sigh.
"You scared of me now, Four?" he lowly asked.
"I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of losing us."
His eyes flickered, letting life find its way back into his browns.
"I'm yours, Crown," I whispered.
I stepped closer, only stopping once the barrel of his gun pressed against my chest, and I became his source of oxygen. When he didn't move, I took my chance. I leaned upward onto my toes, letting my lips brush his.
Crown jammed the gun further into my chest, letting it fall by his side. He stepped away to place it on the dresser and then came back with his eyes no longer dead but filled with hunger. Roughly, he gripped my jaw.
"Crown," I gasped.
"Say it again."
"I'm yours," I breathlessly repeated.
His smirk deepened just before his mouth collapsed into mine. It wasn't tender like when I was pinned to his car. This kissclaimedme — rough, raw, and undeniably his.
He pulled away and spun me back toward the bed, shoving me down as his body followed.
"Crown," I moaned, as his teeth sank into the soft part of my neck. "Who... who do you belong to?"
My question had barely left my lips before he started trailing kisses down my throat.
"Crown," I spat, trying to push him off. I palmed his chest, but he caught both my wrists and slammed them above my head.
"You should be fucking scared of me, Four," he growled into my mouth. "I aimed my gun at your pretty ass. Why the fuck do you care who I belong to?"
I moaned, softly, angrily, and confused. My body betrayed me, wanting him more in this twisted moment.
"Huh? Tell me," he rasped, sucking my bottom lip. "Why do you give a fuck who I belong to?"
