"Yeah?" I said and sat up.
"I know it's been a long time since you've had anyone talk to you like a mother would," she began. "And I would never try to replace yours, but I want you to know I'm here. Yes, you date my daughter, but I care aboutyoutoo."
"I appreciate that. It's not that I don't wanna talk. I just..." I exhaled, tugging on the ends of my braids. "I don't know how to make sense of what happened."
"Then speak as freely as your heart allows."
I gave a slow nod, then started from the top, recounting how we met, how we connected, and how I had just dropped her off an hour ago. I kept the fact that I killed Sincere to myself, but other than that, I told Lakelyn everything.
"The nigga's dead and never coming back," I said, my tone flat. "But I can't shake how Four kept all their shit. This shit is my fault, tho'. I knew something felt off when I asked her to be my girl. She said yes, but her eyes were elsewhere."
I paused, jaw clenched as images of her face haunted me.
"I get your frustration," Lakelyn calmly chimed in. "It hurts. Loving someone with everything, only to feel like they're not loving you the same."
"Exactly."
"You didn't let me finish. Maybe River didn't love you the way you wanted her to at first, but she got there. That should count for something."
"It does," I admitted. "But if she really loves me, she should've trashed all the bullshit she hid in her closet."
"I know you think people should move howyouwant them to," Lakelyn said with a hint of sass, "but I raised my daughter to move whenshe'sready. And from what you've told me, that's exactly what she did."
Out of respect for Lakelyn, I didn't respond.
"Now, I don't condone her carrying on with you in the same manner she did with other men she'd been involved with, especially when she realized how serious you were about her."
"What do you mean?"
"After Sincere, Rivertriedto move on, but she never let a man stay past six months. She'd soaked in the honeymoon phase, then left before things got real. It was her pattern."
"Damn," was my only response. I've used women for pussy and moved around without thinking twice about their feelings. However, being the one getting used in that way brought on a crazy feeling.
"Maybe I can't be mad at her. I lowkey forced our relationship."
"Maybe," she said with a shrug. "But what I do know is you both love each other. Love isn't linear, Crown. And you shouldn't expect it to be. The rough patches teach you something. The good moments give you space to apply what you learned."
I nodded slowly. "I hear you."
"Do you?" She chuckled. "Because I understand the kind of man you are."
"Oh yeah? What do you know about me, Ma?" I gave a half-smile.
"I know what you and your brothers are into. And normally, I wouldn't be thrilled about a man in your line of work dating my daughter, but you and Wolfe are different. Y'all didn't let the streets turn you completely cold. When you find the one, you put her first. I respect that. Not because she's my daughter, but it's just admirable."
"You should be thanking Honor, Navy, and Gigi. A lot of what we learned came from them. Honor and Navy aren't that much older but watching them navigate their own relationship in their teenage years put a lot of things in perspective."
"The next time I see them, I will," she said with a soft smile. "Sincere and King didn't deserve either of my girls. Still, I did my best to step back and allow them to make mistakes and figure out life. Chosyn never let King force her into doing anything she didn't want to do. He thought he ran her, but she was always in control. But River..." She sighed. "She let a boy pretend to be a man. I never liked Sincere. From the moment I met him, something was off. It turns out I was right. River thought I didn't know, but I did. I remember coming home and hearing that Sincere's sister had died. They said it was retaliation for him shooting up a block in the Grove."
My head lifted slightly.
"River was a mess. She didn't leave the house for days. Come to find out she stayed in the house because she was afraid the same people who killed Sincere's sister would kill her."
"Why would someone be after Four?"
"She drove the car when Sincere was shooting."
"You sure?" I asked, nausea twisting low in my gut.