Page 95 of River & Crown
"Yeah, but Sincere never planned anything for your birthday."
"I know, and normally it didn't bother me, but this time it did. We weren't in the best of places, and I thought he might've been cheating on me."
"River—"
"Let me finish, Chosyn. We got into it. He choked me, then asked who I wanted to spend my birthday with... you or him. I picked you, thinking he was going to fight for me to spend time with him. He didn't, and then he died." I stared down at my hands, fighting back the need to cry.
"River." She sighed, pulling into a parking spot. "Why didn't you say anything? You paint Sincere to be this perfect man when he was flawed, just like any other man."
"I wasn't painting him to be anything. I speak on Sincere, how I remember him."
"Well, maybe that's the problem. In your mind, Sincere is this perfect monumental figure, but that's not an honest depiction of who he was. I won't say much else, but you're lying to yourself, River."
I sighed in frustration.
"Whatever he's done wrong in your relationship, you're suppressing it. I'm not sure why, but maybe if you start back your sessions with Monica, you’ll figure it out, move on, and be happy with Crown."
"Is that why we're here?" I asked, noticing she was parked in front of Monica's office.
"I'm here for a session. I brought you along so you can talk to Rook. Crown fucked him up, so he's scared to come see you or call."
"Oh, okay."
"I wouldn’t force you to do anything you don't want to, but if you keep going down this path, you might lose Crown." With that, Chosyn hopped out the car and headed into Monica's office.
I stayed behind, allowing myself to go through the emotions our conversation stirred up. Some time passed, and I remained seated, staring at nothing and letting tears fall. My chest ached, but I kept my breathing controlled. Falling apart quietly made it hurt less. Hearing my phone ring, I grabbed it and saw it was Crown, wanting to FaceTime. I quickly wiped away my tears, forced a smile onto my face, and answered the phone.
"Hey," I sang, only for my voice to tremble.
Crown's stare deepened, his brows drawing together.
"Crown," I croaked.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." The second I said it, dissatisfaction plowed his brows. "I'm fine, Crown."
I wanted him to believe me, but knowing Crown, he wouldn't. The man had my moods, expressions, even the different tones of my voice, mesmerized like grandma's favorite bible verse.
"You gon' lie to me again?" he asked, and I instantly felt like shit.
"Crown, it's?—"
"Is that River? Tell her I said to make sure Chosyn took her ass to see that therapist," I heard Wolfe yell from the background.
"Tell him that she did." I giggled.
"Hol' up, Four," Crown said.
He turned back toward Wolfe and the two shared words.
I started to tell Crown to call me back but stopped when I saw a body approaching from my peripheral. Looking over, I saw it was Rook and smiled. I hopped out of the car, leaving my phone on the passenger seat, and gave him a hug.
"I'm so sorry?—"
"Don't apologize. Your boyfriend?"
"Yes, my boyfriend, but if it were up to him, we'd be married," I joked.
