Page 91 of River & Crown
"You mad at me, baby?"
I shrugged my shoulders, honestly not knowing how I felt. Sincere was my everything. He'd been in my life for so long that I didn't picture life without him. The way I felt for Sincere was overwhelming at times. I've found myself doing dumb shit for him in the name of love. Yet on my birthday, he came in from being only God knows where, carrying the same tired ass bouquet he brought me last week as an apology for missing dinner.
"River," he called out to me.
"I'm fine, Sincere," I lied, but smiled to make it more convincing. "I'ma put these in a vase."
I walked into the kitchen, hoping he didn't follow. I was able to cut the stems and place the roses in the vase without interruption. I walked back into the living room and placed the vase on the bookshelf, then flopped on the couch. I picked my phone up and started scrolling as if I didn't feel the weight of Sincere's stare.
"River."
"Yes, Sincere." I sighed.
"How you got an attitude 'cause I wanna know what's wrong with you?"
Sitting on the coffee table, he took my phone and tossed it on the other end of the couch. His expression was hard to read, but as of late, I've grown accustomed to it. The last year or two in our relationship hadn't been our happiest. Something was off about us. The way he handled me was the same yet different. Sincere went from being a man who always wanted me around to pushing me to do more things with my girls. I went from being his partner in crime to somehow sitting on the sidelines. His explanation was he didn't want me getting caught up in his bullshit. I couldn't argue against that, especially when I fussed with him anytime he brought drugs into the apartment or forced me to carry his gun in my purse. In his own way, Sincere was giving me what I asked for, so I let things be.
"Riv, tell me what's going on so I can fix it."
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"Whatever you're feeling. Just tell me how I'm fucking up and I'll fix it."
"I just feel like you're pulling away from me. Maybe you?—"
"Maybe what? I'm cheating on you?" he scoffed.
"I never said that."
"You didn't have to. Riv, you gotta know I'd never do no goofy shit like cheat on you."
"I believe you. That doesn't change how I'm feeling. Maybe we're in a rut or something. I mean it's my birthday, and you didn't even come home last night."
"I fucked up. I'm sorry 'bout that, but baby, I'm here now. It's still early. We have the whole day to find some shit to get into?—"
"Find some shit to get into," I scoffed. "Don't worry about it, Sincere. When you didn't come home last night, I made plans to do brunch with Chosyn."
"That's your word, Riv?" He gritted.
"Are you mad? Please tell me you're not in my face with a fucking attitude, Sincere!"
"Fuck you think?" he barked. "How the fuck you make plans with Chosyn without thinking about if I wanted to celebrate your birthday with you?"
"Sincere, you didn't come home last night. Now you're here bitching about me not planning something for us to do on my birthday. Do you hear how fucking stupid that sounds? We've been together how many years? My birthday is the same fucking day every fucking year!"
"Riv, lower your fucking tone."
"Nigga, fuck a tone and answer my question. We've been together how long?"
"Eleven years," he answered.
"Eleven fucking years and not once have you tried to go out of your way to do something special for my birthday."
"Now I haven't done anything special for you. Man, miss me with that bullshit, River."
Sucking his teeth, Sincere stood up, dismissing not only what I said but also how I was feeling.
"Look, you either wanna celebrate with me or you wanna celebrate with Chosyn. Let me know what you want to' do."
