Page 35 of River & Crown
"Nigga, I can read your mind, I know what you thinkin'," I sang in tune with that Avant song.
"I'm not Four. Take that shit elsewhere." He waved me off.
Not taking it to heart, I pried deeper 'cause if this nigga didn't get his frustrations out now, then he was gon' do so once the meeting started.
"Honor," I gritted, getting his attention.
"Not right now, Crown," he huffed, breathing heavier than normal.
"Then when, my nigga? We don't need this meeting going left."
"And it won't," he barked, puffing out his chest.
"Pipe down, pup," I joked. "I'm just saying this shit doesn't only affect you now. We all in bed with Lucian?—"
"Pause!" Honor and I spat simultaneously.
"You gotta chill," he told me, lightening up.
"Nah, forreal." I chuckled. "Wassup with you tho? You and Navy good?"
At the mention of sis' name, Honor's whole jaw tensed.
"Nigga, you don't gotta say it 'cause your jaw did it for you."
"Fuck you. We're good, but I can tell this new situation with Lucian and Choyce is bothering her."
"Sis feeling threatened?"
"Never. Navy knows she's it for me." He shook his head, and I couldn't tell who he was trying to convince me or himself.
"Then what's the problem?"
"She doesn't want me in this shit. She keeps trying to pull me out, and I keep sinking further into this bullshit with Lucian."
"That's not on you, tho'. You were ready to get out, but then?—"
"She understands I'm gon' always do what's needed to keep y'all safe, but she feels I shouldn't have to trade in my life for y'all's safety."
"Damn," I mumbled. "I mean, she's got a point. We're all adults. You don't have to protect us like we're still those kids back in Gravehart Homes. We escaped that shit and did ight for ourselves. It's time we all start thinking and moving selfishly. Not in the sense that we're shitting on each other but more so putting our family before all else. Wolfe's already got two up onus, and nothing is falling apart. He puts Chosyn and our niece first. I want the same, and you deserve it too."
"Nigga, you tryin' to break up the home team?" Honor's brow shot up as he shifted his weight to his back foot.
"Never. Y'all niggas my family, nothing's gon' change that. At the same time, I want the sixty-year marriage, a bunch of four-eyed kids runnin' around, and a dog to take to Starbucks on some bougie shit."
"Is Four ready for all that?" he asked.
I shrugged 'cause the truth was I didn't know. I wanted to believe each day we've spent since making it official was us taking a step in that direction, but River was so fuckin' closed off.
"I told her I love her at the racetrack," I confessed.
"Oh shit. What did she say?"
"Nothing. I didn't give her time to say shit back. I let her know I had enough love for both of us."
"Ight." The shift in Honor was instant. His smile vanished, replaced by a blank stare.
"Nigga, if you know some shit 'bout my bitch like you did Chosyn speak now. Spare me the fuckin' third act drama."
