Page 220 of River & Crown
"Please. We both know the days of my going on dates are over until..."
I stopped myself, letting the words catch in my throat before the tears did.
"River, are you okay?" Chosyn stared hard through the phone. "You know you're not supposed to be stressing."
"I'm fine... I just miss him." I sighed.
"We all do."
"And you're sure Wolfe doesn't know where he is?" I asked, finding it hard to believe that Crown just left without telling anyone where he was going.
"Nope. I even asked while sucking his dick, and he still told me he didn't know."
"Why would you ask while sucking dick?" I frowned.
"That's when Wolfe's most vulnerable. Once I start sucking on the tip like a Blow Pop, the world is mine."
"You could've kept that to yourself." I laughed, shaking my head.
"Welp, you asked. I answered. Anyway, call me when you're on your way home so I know you're safe."
"Chosyn, I'm grown," I reminded her, lining my lips with brown lip liner.
"I don't care. Crown isn't here, so it's my job to make sure you're safe and that these niggas aren't on some weird shit."
"As much as I appreciate that, you have nothing to worry about. Every man who comes my way gets turned down. I don't even have to say much. I flash my ring, and they respect it."
Crown not being around, not answering my texts or calls, didn't change a thing. He wanted me to show him I wanted him, and this was my way of doing that.
"Mhm," Chosyn smacked. "All I know is, whenever Crown comes back, he'd better be on his knees begging like Jodeci for how he did you. I still can't believe you offered to cut your hair for that nigga."
I laughed hard as hell. That was one of the dumbest things I've ever said.
"Please don't remind me!"
"I'ma remind you so you don't do it again."
"Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Now let me finish getting ready."
"Okay. Oh, wait, I meant to ask if you heard from Honey. I know we're not talking to her, but I'm worried."
I sighed, still feeling indifferent about her.
"Navy mentioned reaching out to her the last time we spoke, so maybe ask her," I suggested.
"I'll do that. Have fun tonight and tell Kysre I said to keep an eye on you."
"I will. Love you, BB."
"Love you, too."
I ended the FaceTime and finished getting ready. I slid my glasses on, fluffed out my curls, and caught my reflection in the mirror. And just like that, I heard Crown's voice in my head, clear as day, telling me how beautiful I looked. What we had never really made sense, but it didn't have to because love didn't always follow logic. Sometimes it just... was.
Crown thought he was the only one who fell in love at first sight, and for a while, I thought the same. It wasn't until he left that I thought back on our relationship and realized my soul had recognized him before I had. That's why it didn't matter that I drove the car the day he got shot, or that Crown killed Sincere. We weren't looking to be anyone's fairytale. There was nothing light or soft about us. We were heavy, tangled in grief and trauma, but somehow, we fit. He was the wound, and I was the scar. Proof that love doesn't always heal cleanly.
My phone vibrating pulled my eyes from the mirror, forcing thoughts of Crown to the back of my mind.
Kysre
