Page 145 of River & Crown
"Come on," he rasped.
I followed behind him, nerves dancing all around my stomach. He was too hard to read, and he barely looked at me on the drive over. His hand usually gripped my thigh as he drove, but this time there was nothing. No thigh gripping, no music, and no small talk. Just silence thick enough to choke the hell out of me.
"Happy birthday!" Crown smirked, turning us both so that we were facing the car of my dreams.
My hand flew to my chest as tears blurred my vision.
"You didn't," I softly muttered.
A Porsche 911 — all black, with sleek curves and chrome accents. I'd casually mentioned it was my dream car, but I never expected him to get it for me. On the hood sat a glasses-shaped cake, frosting smooth, gold frames piped perfectly, andtiny candles waiting to be lit. As if the car and cake weren't enough, thousands of blue roses spilled out of the passenger door, covering the seat and spilling onto the pavement.
"Crown... " I exhaled. His name caught in my throat.
He said nothing, only kissed my forehead and pulled a lighter from his pocket. The flame flickered, then lit each candle.
"Make a wish," he murmured.
I nodded, barely able to see through my tears. Taking a shaky breath, I closed my eyes.
Please, let the guilt that's been sitting on my chest every morning stay gone forever. More than anything, I wish to stop surviving for someone who isn't here and start living for the man who taught me how to breathe again. If I only get one wish, then I wish for Crown and me to know forever with each other, even if forever isn't long enough.
I blew out the candles with tears streaking my cheeks. I turned, waiting for his arms to wrap around me, but he didn't move. He just stared, his jaw clenched and his eyes brewing a storm that I didn't think I was going to survive.
"That was a long-ass wish. Fuck you wish for... that dead nigga you're still in love with to come back and steal you from me?" His tone was icy, and each shard twisted into my heart before I could fully comprehend what he'd said.
"Wha... what?" I blinked wildly. "Crown."
"River." He chuckled, not in the sexy way I loved. It was eerie, and for the first time since meeting Crown, fear struck me. "You're not denying what I said."
"Because I didn't wish for him. I wish for us. I'm standing in front of the man I love. The fucking man I want to be with."
"You love me?" he asked.
"Yes! I fucking love you, Crown!" I answered, desperately grabbing his hands.
They stiffened beneath mine, but I laced my fingers through his anyway. I was too scared that if I let go, it wouldn't only be his hands slipping away. It'd be everything we built.
"Nah, you don't love a nigga." He yanked away.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, my voice trembling.
"Fuck am I doing to you, Four?" His humorless laugh made my stomach drop.
"Four!" He bit out, glaring in my direction.
"This! This is what you're doing! Calling me River to punish me, then Four when you want to reel me back in. I'm not a fucking yo-yo, Crown. I love you. I-fucking-love you. You know that, so why start a fight over an ex who doesn't matter to me? If anything, I should have the fucking attitude." I barked out, tired of feeling small under his gaze.
"Four get the fuck outta my face with the bullshit. Fuck is there for you to be mad about?"
"The party. You threw me the most amazing party, but you were by my side for all of what... thirty minutes, then you disappeared. It was my birthday, and you left me to gohandle business. Then you pop back up, jealous, right after niggas shoot up the block and shove your gun in Rakim's?—"
"Say that's nigga name like you love him. I fucking dare your selfish ass, River," he taunted.
"This is what I'm talking about! Now I'm selfish and saying a name like I'm in love? The only man I love is you, Cortez Crown Gravehart! That's who I love, but that's not good enough for you, is it?"
I shook my head, stepping back. My chest ached as if my heart was folding in on itself. Anger flared, heating my skin and curling my hands into fists. I was conflicted, and Crown questioning my love for him only made it worse.
"Crown, I don't want to argue, but it's not fair how your insecurities can control your actions while I can't ask who Syn iswithout getting shut down. Rakim isn't important. I don't know why he showed up, but he looked out for me. Had you been there, maybe you would've been the one to protect me. But you weren't, so Rakim stepped in."
