Page 88 of Falling Princess
“Until we get the all-clear. Listen, make yourselves at home. I have some cleanup to do.” She kicked a stool out from the rough metal kitchen island, which looks like a great way to get tetanus, and pulled an old laptop out from a cabinet. For the next several hours, Cata mostly ignored us as she went through the tedious process of erasing a wide digital trail.
My phone told me it was nearly midnight when I finally turned off the torch function and tried to fall asleep next to Raina’s inert form. Cata was still pounding away at her keyboard.
“What will happen to the car?” I stared up at the ceiling. Pipes and ducts painted black, interspersed with harsh fluorescent lights.
“It’s already gone. Reported stolen and probably stripped for parts.”
I licked my lips and tried to figure out how to ask what’s been bothering me. “Why did you back up and run him over again?”
“Skía,” she replied absently.
“He was still human.”
That made my friend pause. I heard her shuffle off the stool. She leaned over the couch, arms braced on the back, her face two feet above mine and upside down. Tendrils of pale hair had escaped the bun, falling in a silver halo as she bent over me.
“So was your mother, when they killed her. They would have killed us that day, too. We were supposed to be with her, but you came down with a cold and I stayed back with you.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t know that you were going to be a sister.”
Cata’s expression was sorrowful. She brushed my hair away from my forehead.
“No.”
My mother was pregnant when she died? I loathe how everyone keeps secrets from me. Even Cata.EspeciallyCata.
“Few did. Me. Your father, of course. Lorcan’s father either knew or suspected. I think it’s part of why he reacted to her death the way he did.” Her brow crinkled. “Ilíana was on her way to tell Raina’s mother the news when they cornered her caravan in the pass north of Marsh Hollow. Those bastards murdered a pregnant woman. They would have murdered you, a little girl, if you’d been with her. If I seem cruel when I say kill them by any means possible, remember what they did to her.” She stood up.
I understand why Cata feels the way she does, though I don’t think I could kill anyone. I don’t have it in me. During the attack in the park—the moment everything changed between Lorcan and me—all I knew was how to run. He promised that I would never need to do it, but Lorcan is just as mortal as anyone else. I don’t ever want to feel that helpless again.
I know my mother wouldn’t have gone easy. I won’t, either.
“Hey, Cata?”
“Yes, Zosia?”
“I want to learn to fight.”
Her chuckle echoed in the empty room. “Tomorrow, Princess. I’ll teach you the basics. Just in case I’m ever not there to help you.”
There was a wistful note in her voice that I couldn’t parse. I’m tired of all the loss. Maybe that’s all it is—she’s as tired of the violence as I am. There’s more of it looming over our future, a thunderous cloud, impossible to counter. All I can do is go out and do inane press events in hopes that someone will finally give my country the weapons and military help we need.
Because I’m nothing but a pretty figurehead, too important to die, so others must do so in my stead.
* * *
Time slowed and days blurred in the safe house. We never opened the curtains for fear of discovery. I slept until ten without realizing it.
Raina lives by her phone clock and keeps a normal schedule. Trading times of wakefulness gave us a bit of privacy in a space that offered almost none. The only other room is the bathroom, which has a shower, sink, and toilet. Our dorm was a luxury hotel compared to this converted warehouse.
In between study sessions and snacking—none of us had any interest in cooking proper meals—Cata and Raina took turns teaching me how not to be so useless in a fight.
Cata showed me how to break a hold. Raina tried to teach me the weak places on a man’s body—his groin, his face, his knees, his feet—before Cata pointed out that anyone with a dick would expect a female opponent to try and strike there, so don’t go for that spot first.
“Great way to disable someone for a few minutes once you have him on the ground, though,” she added.
Both of them tried to teach me how to use a sword and spear. I was no good at it. My upper body strength is shit, which I resolved to work on, but at least between their instruction and Lorcan’s demonstration last summer, I had a rudimentary understanding of warcraft. I didn’t feel capable, exactly, but I did feel less helpless.
