Page 73 of Falling Princess
You have no idea.“Yes.”
“Excellent timing, Lorcan,” King Rohan strode toward us. I took a steadying breath and tried to compose myself. My father cannot be made aware of the faintest hint of my feelings toward my appointed knight. It would be a disaster.
We are friends, if that, and nothing more. My feelings are my burden to bear, alone.
I feel it too.
I closed my eyes and breathed. So much for forgetting.
“—success in your mission?” my father was saying.
When I opened my eyes, I took in details I had missed during my initial inspection, when all that mattered to me was that he was in one piece. Lorcan was a mess. Dirt stains everywhere, on his backside, his thighs, his knees. His hair was a frightful nest of tangles. I was pretty sure I saw a burr embedded somewhere behind his ear. He’ll have to cut that one out. No loss; his hair needed a chop anyway.
His boots were covered with mud and what looked like dried blood, and his torso was in no better shape, with a painful-looking gash visible through a hole in the layers of fabric over his bicep. It looked like he got nicked by an arrow. He smelled like he’s been sleeping in a stable for a week, too.
Despite this, I had to suppress the urge to throw my arms around his neck. I managed to resist by reminding myself (again) that he isn’t mine to care about.
Bowing to my father, he said, “I had not intended to present myself in this condition, Your Highness.”
My father gave Lorcan a once-over, then clapped him on the uninjured shoulder. “Considering your haste to save my daughter’s life, I take no offense. Why don’t you settle into the guards’ quarters and we’ll discuss the sword at supper.”
Guards’ quarters? He saves my life, and we can’t even give the man a proper hot bath and private room? I kept my mouth shut by biting my lower lip. There is nothing to be gained in sticking my neck out for him now. From all appearances, Lorcan has slept in worse places than a barracks.
He is myguard.Not my boyfriend. Like Raina, I seem to have trouble remembering that fact.
My personal mission to forget him this summer has been a complete failure.
* * *
The three of us dined together with Cata that evening, in my father’s private apartments. I dressed informally, by home standards, which is still very regal. I can’t get away with jeans and a T-shirt here.
Lorcan arrived in his royal guard uniform. The last time I saw him in it was at the Midwinter ceremony, where I was so furious with him that I botched the speech. Had I been less angry, I might have noticed how unfairly handsome he is in it.
Guard. Appointed knight. Not boyfriend material. Keep it together, Zosia.
I might be a failure of a princess, but I won’t let my personal shortcomings cost Lorcan his place amongst the royal guards.
“If you don’t mind riding out again right away, I know my daughter is anxious to make her annual pilgrimage to the Sky Shrine on Mount Astra,” my father said.
I dragged my attention away from my appointed knight’s sharp features—now decorated with a fading bruise above his eye and a cut on the opposite cheekbone—to cast my father a fulminating glare.
“I am?” Considering how badly things went last year, and every year before that, I was rather hoping to avoid it.
Lorcan’s gaze fell on me. A tiny smile played at the corners of his mouth. He caught my momentary dismay and found it amusing.
He doesn’t know. My good humor deflated instantly. I dread this trip.
“Yes, Zosia, you are. You wish to secure the goddess’ blessing in our fight against the Skía and for your continued safety and success at school.”
Of course, I want those things. But visiting the Sky Temple won’t accomplish anything more than sucking up to bankers at Davos did. On the other hand...
“Will we be traveling with the priests?” I asked, fearing to hope. Given the spate of attacks this summer, chances are we’ll have an entire army accompanying us.
“No, Zosia, time is short and they would only slow you down. Lorcan is more than capable of escorting you there and back again safely.”
Alone. We’ll be alone.
My father must be aware of the rumors already circulating about us. They paint Lorcan in a highly favorable light. Me? Not so much. He’s taking a risk by sending his daughter out to wander the countryside with a young man, even if that young man is a sworn knight. My father has immense faith in Lorcan’s ability to keep his pants zipped. (Or buttoned. Traditional Auralian clothing doesn’t include zippers).
