Page 19 of Falling Princess
“You’ll want to secure that to the wall, so it doesn’t fall over.”
Flat blue eyes meet mine, no discernible emotion within them. What does he feel when he looks at me? Anything?
Spite? It would be understandable.
Hatred? I could hardly blame him.
Longing? Please, anything but that.
Perhaps he’s emotionally stunted. That would explain so much about his unresponsiveness to Raina’s affections, and his unwavering calm in the face of my seething hostility. It would make sense if he simply feels nothing.
If so, I’m envious. I feel far too much, like a pot constantly on the verge of boiling over. The tighter I clamp down my lid, the more furiously my emotions roil within me.
“We have class in half an hour.” A lecture. A seminar in geopolitical relations.
He nodded. “I’ll escort you, Highness.”
As if he isn’t also enrolled. I can barely stand his resolute blankness. The weight of his watchfulness is an inescapable burden.
At least we’ll get out of this cramped apartment for a while.
I wish I had the option of striking up a conversation with my classmates. I know there’s one other princess living in this building. Princess Hallie. There are also two princes, a duke, a marquess, and an Italian countess (along with three knights in addition to mine—apparently, we’re not such an anachronism after all). People my own age, who know what it’s like to be constantly watched.
Possible friends, if only I had the space to meet them.
Well, a year is a long time, I told myself with a rare burst of optimism. Surely, he’ll lose interest in keeping close tabs on me. All I have to do is bide my time and wait for the right moment to make another bid for freedom.
Next time, I won’t be caught.
* * *
“What do you think Raina sees in him, anyway?” I asked Cata during our visit to a gardening center on the outskirts of Edinburgh. Lorcan came along for the ride, despite my explicit request to spend time alone with my friend. I should be perfectly safe making a shopping trip with the leader of the Covari. Especially considering how she personally trained his scrawny ass.
Did he take the hint? Of course not. Nor did Cata back me up when I protested, forcing me to let it slide. I won’t pitch a tantrum to get my way—though I do stew in my resentment. Can’t he leave me alone, so I canbreathe?
I cut my gaze across the garden center yard to where he was examining a small tree. For what, I can’t imagine. Blight? A hidden, doll-sized Skía? Goddess only knows what he’s thinking.
“Other than he’s adorable, talented and a total sweetheart?”
“He never talks, Cata.”
“To you. Maybe he’s intimidated.” She smirked.
I rolled my eyes. “Please. He’s been palling around with Raina since childhood. My title is definitely not the issue. Besides, I don’t get the sense that he’s intimidated by anyone or anything, least of all me.”
My friend opened her mouth as though to speak, and then appeared to change her mind about what to say. “I agree. He is very confident in his abilities, and Lorcan can be very quiet, I grant you that. You could try talking to him.”
“About what? We have nothing in common.” I selected a bag of seed starter and tried to heft it into the cart. Cata lifted it easily. “For example, I have no upper body strength.”
She laughed. “You’re both Auralians, tasked with representing your country abroad, scrutinized by the press, learning how to be students in an unfamiliar place far from home. Isn’t that enough of a starting point?”
“As are Kenton, Bashir and Raina.” Not to the same extent as I am, though; Cata isn’t wrong. “We’re all struggling a bit.”
Cata appears to be thoroughly enjoying her role as off-site den mother to us all. In her way, she’s as protective of me as Lorcan is—only I don’t mind her oversight. I’ve known her my entire life. Cata was my mother’s closest friend when she was still alive. She occupies a place in my life somewhere between older sister, aunt, and surrogate mother.
“He might be struggling a little more than you think, Zosh. Give him a chance. He’s full of surprises.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
