Page 15 of Absolution

He looks at the floor. “I’m sorry. He didn’t make it.”

The world stops.

Jackie lets out a sound, one I’ve never heard before. Low and long and cracked straight down the centre. Like something ancient and wounded tearing out of her. She folds in on herself, arms locked tight around her middle like she’s trying to hold her body and her world, together.

I cover my face. I don’t deserve to cry. I don’t deserve to be here.

Her mother holds her, whispering something, rocking her gently. And I just stand there. Frozen. Useless.

Dr. Stevens lingers a second, like he might say more, but then he turns toward the door.

I follow him out into the hallway.

“Doc,” I say.

He stops and turns. His eyes are kind. Tired. And full of something that guts me, pity.

I step closer, barely able to get the words out. “If… if they had gotten here in time. If he’d been born here… would he have made it?”

Dr. Stevens takes a breath, slow and steady. “Mr. Greyson, don’t torture yourself with what-ifs.”

“No,” I say, my voice cracking. “Please. Just tell me. Would he still be alive?”

He looks away for a second. When his eyes meet mine again, they’re heavy. Honest.

“If he’d been delivered here, with full equipment, a full team… maybe,” he says quietly. “He could’ve had a chance.” He pauses. “But he was the smallest of the four. There’s no way to know. Some babies fight through. Others… don’t. Even if everything had gone right... there’s no guarantee.”

I nod, but it’s automatic. Numb. Like my body’s moving and my brain hasn’t caught up. I don’t even know what I was hoping to hear. That nothing would’ve changed? That fate had its hands in this from the start? That this wasn’t my fault?

But it was. She was screaming. Fighting for her life. And I was… I wasn’t here. Our son might be alive if I hadn’t been so selfish. If I had just… been here.

I press my back to the hallway wall, breathing hard. My heart pounds so loud I swear it echoes. Shame claws through me, bitter and deep.

My son died.

And I wasn’t there. I didn’t even know. I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t even deserve to ask for it.

All I know is that something in me cracked wide open the second I saw Jackie in that bed.

And now, I want to be the man I promised her I’d be. But it might be too late. I betrayed my vows. I betrayed my children. Not just as a husband. Not just as a father. As a man.

I wasn’t there when she needed me most. And because of that, one of our sons is gone.

I can’t undo it. Can’t take it back.

But I swear to God, I will never let her carry anything alone again.

Not the grief. Not the guilt. Not one more goddamn second of this life.

Chapter Five

Jackie ~Twelve days later

I thought the hard part was over.

I thought once the surgery was done, once I opened my eyes and heard they were alive, most of them, that the worst would be behind me.

But I was wrong.

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