Page 56 of Absolution

“I didn’t even think. I just asked if he was alone.” His voice drops. “They hung up.”

The room tilts slightly, like it’s not anchored anymore.

A roaring fills my ears, dull, heavy, pulsing. Like blood rushing past the truth, I didn’t want to hear.

He was cheating… then.

When I was about to give birth.

I blink hard, the living room warping slightly in my vision. I remember that night too vividly now.

I’d gone into early labour alone. Kyle wasn’t answering his phone. Said later he’dfallen asleep at the office.I’d believed him.

I wasted precious time calling him. It took me a while to call 911. And even longer for the paramedics to get there.

That delay… it cost us Duke.

Our firstborn. His heart had been fine. His lungs had developed. He just didn’t get oxygen fast enough. The doctors said early delivery wasn’t the problem, it was the window between my water breaking and the hospital.

The window I thought had been my fault, that I’d been the one who knew he was working, that I should’ve called 911 first. The whole time, he knew… heknewit wasn’t my fault.

It was his.

Our son died because Kyle was out fucking another woman.

“You knew?” I whisper, turning to Cory.

He doesn’t meet my eyes. “Jackie-”

“Youknew?” My voice rises, cracking like something inside me finally splitting open. “All this time?”

“I wanted to tell you,” he says, voice low, careful. “I went to the hospital that night. But you were…” He swallows. “You werealready dealing with so much. You were shaking. Bleeding. The kids were in the NICU. I didn’t know how.”

I stare at him, waiting for something, anything, to make it better. Nothing comes.

“I told myself I’d tell youafter, once things settled. But then they didn’t. Not for a long time. And by then…” He looks up at me, guilt all over his face. “I’d convinced myself I was wrong. Kyle never left your side, not even once, after he got there. He was holding your hand. Crying. I told myself it couldn’t have been what I thought. That maybe itwaswork. Maybe they had the wrong number, or…”

He trails off.

“You told yourself what you needed to,” I say bitterly. “And you let me believe he was just late because he fell asleep.”

Cory looks wrecked. “Jackie…”

“I blamed myself.” My throat tightens. “I was terrified. I waited too long to call 911 because I thought my husband would walk through the door any minute. And you…youcould’ve told me.”

“I’m sorry,” Cory says. “I really, truly am.”

But the apology barely registers.

I’m too busy replaying the moment the doctor told us Duke didn’t make it. The way Kyle stood there like he was breaking too. Like he hadearnedthe grief. The guilt. And I let him.

Not knowing the whole time…

I turn to Cory, my voice rough. “Who else knew?”

He shakes his head quickly. “No one. I didn’t tell anyone.”

I look to Marianne. “Did you?”

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