Page 115 of Absolution

“We laid down flowers. And then we just sat there. With each other. With our son.” I pause. “It was cathartic, actually. Peaceful.”

She nods quietly.

“I know Jemma and Iris are twins, but I can tell them apart so easily, by their voices, their hair, even the way they talk. I always wondered if I would’ve been able to tell with the boys. If Duke had lived, would I have known him from Levi in a heartbeat?”

Kate doesn’t speak. She just listens.

“When I told Kyle that,” I continue, “he said he couldn’t picture Duke as anything other than a baby. That wrecked me.”

There’s a moment of silence between us before I spot movement near the door.

“There they are,” I say, nodding toward Trish and Lorelie as they step into the café.

Lorelie gives a small wave. She accidentally walked into our group thinking it was for the opposite and we kinda adopted her.

I hadn’t come in months. Not since the divorce. But ever since Kyle and I started therapy again… I don’t know. It’s been good. Coming back. Sitting with women whoget it. Women I don’t have to justify anything to, especially not the part where I’m giving a cheating spouse another chance.

Don no longer comes so it automatically became a women’s only group.

“Still warm,” Trish says, setting down a tray of muffins like she baked them.

“Lorelie, try the cranberry,” Kate says, already halfway through hers.

“Ok.” Lorelie grins, reaching for the cranberry muffin.

As the chatter picks up again, I lean back, letting the moment settle into that soft hum of comfort and sugar and shared gossip.

Then, when the conversation dips just a little, I say, “I have a date tonight.”

Three heads swivel toward me.

“With Kyle?” Kate asks, her brow raised like she already knows the answer.

“Yes. With Kyle,” I nod.

“Youfinallysaid yes,” Trish says, grinning wide.

“I did,” I admit, smiling but feeling the nerves flutter just beneath it. “The kids have a birthday sleepover, so… we’re doing it tonight.”

“You haven’t told them?” Trish asks.

“God, no,” I say quickly. “They barely survived the breakup. We don’t want to get their hopes up unless…” I shrug. “Unless it’s real.”

“I get it,” Kate says gently.

Lorelie tilts her head. “You have kids too, Kate?”

Kate smiles. “Yep. Two boys. Loud, messy, and perfect.”

Then Lorelie turns to me. “And you have three?”

I hold her gaze. “I have four. One is with the angels,” I say, voice steady. “The others are absolute terrors.”

“Oh,” she says softly.

For so long I used to awkwardly change the subject whenever someone asked how many kids I had. Say three. Pretend it didn’t ache every time. Not anymore. I have four children. That’s it.

Kate squeezes my arm. No pity, just silent support. She gets it.

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