Page 47 of Long Live the King

“Aye, she fed me pie and?—”

Fraoch said, “Ye mean somethin’ else or a dessert?”

Lochie groaned, “I mean dessert, och nae — she is a fine lass, ye canna think she would invite me home and... is everyone in on the joke, does pie mean somethin’ more?”

We all nodded.

He screwed up his face then shrugged. “Tis funny, she does hae verra fine pie. I think she might hae the finest pie in the modern world, and ye can find it amusin’ all ye want, but m’heart is sore and ye ought tae stop mocking me and advise me instead... she fed me dessert. We talked and drank a beer and even toasted once or twice and twas a fine night, but then I ruined it by speaking on fighting and she grew frightened and I left. What am I tae do?”

Magnus said, “Ye like her?”

“Aye, I do.”

Magnus said, “There is an easy situation tae solve, she is a new woman tae ye and she is tryin’ tae discern one thing, are ye goin’ tae bring danger intae her life, or will ye be keepin’ danger away.”

I nodded. “That’s well put.”

Fraoch said, “Aye, she wants tae ken are ye goin’ tae frighten her or protect her.”

“I frightened her.”

Magnus said, “Tis because ye dinna tell her ye would protect her.”

“I should hae fought Buck?”

Fraoch said, “Nae, ye proved ye could protect her by not fighting him.”

“I daena ken what tae do then…”

I said, “Think of it this way, she is a red-blooded American girl, and a soldier, she’s brave, but the only danger in her life right now is if she gets called up to fight. On the day to day, she has her ex, he’s an ass, but you proved that you could disarm him with charm. That’s a win, but now she sees you as dangerous.That’s a loss,but,you can fix this, Lochie, because a lot of young red-blooded American girls like a strong protector. Did you tell her you were in Magnus’s military?”

“I dinna think I could talk about it.”

I said, “I think you have to, she’s a soldier, you’re a soldier too. You have that in common and she’ll understand that. Even if she weren’t a soldier she would like that. Girls will marry soldiers, there’s a whole ‘sexy-in-a-uniform’ thing.”

Fraoch said, “And a kilt.”

I said, “True, but if you’re wooing a young woman and she is trying to figure out if you’re going to bring danger or protect her from danger, the best way to signify that is by wearing your uniform.”

Lochie said, “Magnus, may I wear it here?”

“Usually I would think nae, it draws attention, might cause problems, but I will waive m’reservations, ye can wear it. Yer dress coatwiththe kilt.”

I said, “That should do it.”

Magnus grinned. “All I hae tae do is put on m’dress coat and kilt and Madame Campbell is reminded that I am her master and protector.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “That is not true, Lochie, half of what they’re telling you is bull-hooky.”

Lochie laughed, “What part is the half?”

Magnus said, “She will say the wrong part is that I am her master, she is probably right. But I remain convinced that if I am wearing m’royal uniform she wants tae please me.”

I said, “Now I supposethatis true.” Then I asked, “So, Lochie, how did you leave it with her?”

“I rushed out intae the rain, canna remember if I said goodbye.”

Fraoch groaned. Magnus grunted.

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