Page 28 of Long Live the King

“I daena think I understand what regular things are here — did ye ken she is a soldier?”

Fraoch shook his head. “Nae, ye must hae misheard.”

“She is, she told me plain. I asked again, tae make certain I had heard her correctly. She said she dinna go tae war though.”

Fraoch and Lochie both went quiet, staring into space as if they were trying to figure it out.

I said, “There are lots of women in the military.”

Fraoch said, “Is there? Tis an odd thing... for what purpose?”

I said, “Some women want to protect the country, they train, they serve.”

Lochie and Fraoch both looked at me, nodding with their brows down, as if I were going to continue explaining.

When I didn’t, Fraoch shook his head. “It daena make sense.”

I said, “Fraoch, if Hayley could hear you! You’re lucky she’s out, what about all the viking women warriors? What about Joan of Arc? Haven’t queens led their armies into battle?”

Fraoch nodded, “Aye, tis true, I suppose I just thought those lasses were not such...lasses.”

I said, “Many young women join the military! If Ash joined the military that’s great. And Lochie, I can’t stress this enough, don’t act surprised like Fraoch, or bad mouth it in any way. You need to be respectful.”

“Aye, Queen Kaitlyn, but I was surprised at first— do ye think I ruined my chances?”

“She gave you her phone numberafterthat conversation?”

“Aye.”

“Then you’re in the clear.”

“And if ye think on it, tis verra courageous for her tae offer her life for her country. Tis honorable.”

“Exactly.”

Fraoch said, “This is true, and tis also true that I am an auld man and what do I know about anything? I hae tae remind myself all the time tae be a regular man.”

Lochie said, “I daena think I ken how tae be a regular man.”

“What would ye do if ye were at home in Scotland?”

“I would speak tae her brothers and ask her father for her?—”

“Nae, we told ye, this is not how it works.”

Archie and Ben were seated on stools by the kitchen island watching in rapt attention. Archie said, “You just have to be cool, Uncle Lochie.”

Fraoch gestured, wildly, “Aye, ye just hae tae be cool! What if a young lass asked ye tae come tae the tavern in the evening, what would ye do?”

“I would walk tae the tavern, I would go tae the bar and order an ale, perhaps a whisky, and I would tell her that she is a bonny lass once I had the chance tae talk tae her.”

“Exactly what ye should do in this instance.”

Lochie said, “So I ought tae walk?

Fraoch said, “Nae, that is the one part ye canna do. This is a warm day, ye will be sweatin’ like a fat mucag on butcherin’ day in August. We will drive ye tae talk tae her.”

Archie said, “You ought to ask her out on a date, Uncle Lochie.”

---