Page 96 of He Thugged Me First

LOVE

For god knows how long I pondered over what I felt like I needed to be doing. I didn’t make it his problem or anyone else’s because it was my issue. It was my problem that I didn’t know what or who I was becoming but I felt like I was losing myself in the life he was trying to give me. You see, I grew up in one of those homes where from the outside looking in things were great, but if you were in the inside then you knew things were anything but that. It could’ve been worse, I mean my father would have beat my mother, but he didn’t not physically at least. I grew up in a household where my father belittled everyone around him to make him feel better, where he thought that his connections and money made people bow to him. In most cases it did, but I watched my mother put on a smile for years and act like things were fine, when they weren’t. My fear was that I’d end up in that very same position, smiling when I was dying inside. Of course Quari isn’t my father and could never be, but I just feared. I projected my fears from childhood onto him and bottled it up. I’m glad I was able to move past it internally before telling him. Just like I thought he listened to me and supported me like the man I knew he was. Ever since I let all of that go, things had been good.

Rubbing my now protruding belly, I glanced over at Sophia in the corner bothering Mel who was purposely staying close to her the plugs. That baby’s iPad was always dead.

“What are you over her thinking about?” I heard him before I felt his arms wrap around my body and rest on my stomach.

“Nothing major, just wondering how I let you talk me into another one.”

“Simple, the vows said that you belong to me so i?—”

“Aht Aht, don’t you finish that sentence.” I turned around and mugged him. Ever since we married on the islands he’d been obsessed with his interpretation of the pastor's sermon.

“What? I’m just letting you know what God said. He ain’t tryna be for that BS you throw my way.”

Mecca’s laughter pulled me from mugging this fool. “Y’all are a mess.”

“I know yeen talking, I’m still not over the cake fight you two had at my reception.” I pointed over at her then Kasair who was too busy kissing all over Kacey’s little face.

“Fuck outta here, she got mad because I wouldn’t go get her another slice of cake and act like it was mine. So she threw her last piece at me after I told her ass no.” Kasair’s head popped up and he mugged Mecca.

“Nigga bye, you should’ve did as I asked.” She rolled her eyes.

“Now that is dysfunctional.” Quari pointed toward the two of them. “I just hate that my niece has to deal with that shit, her and Mel.” He shook his head.

“Where is Mazzier? Why is he always late?” Mecca’s voice filled the room.

“That nigga is always late because he doesn’t wanna be here, you think Thanks Giving is any different?” Quari laughed.

“Coming from one antisocial motherfucker about another. Shit, the only reason ya ass is here is because this is your crib.” Kasair shook his head.

GAYZE

“Mazzier, you did not have me take today off for us to spend it in this house because you can’t keep your freaking hands to yourself.” I mugged Mazzier as I stood in the mirror of my bedroom attempting to get dressed for the third time.

He laughed behind me. “I’m just tryna make sure you’re good, Doc.” He smiled my way as I stood in the mirror examining my body. Nothing had really changed but everything felt different. Well a slight difference was the firmness of my belly. It was more rounded and firm to touch. At least that’s what Mazzier told me.

“Is it reall?—”

“Get dressed, G. If you don’t we’ll never make it out of this house and you’ll be walking around this bitch mad as fuck because I ain’t going nowhere. Mecca’s aggy ass has already called me three times, because she thinks I’m not gonna show up.”

I looked up from my body to Mazzier mugging me like somehow our lateness was my fault. I giggled before looking down and walking toward my closet. I already knew what I was gonna wear, it was laid out in the closet on the middle counter.

Within such a short amount of time, it feels like my life has changed drastically. Before everything with Mazzier I didn’t realize I was hiding behind my work and going to see my therapist because I refused to take control of my personal life. I expected Kenya to tell me what to do and how to do it because I just couldn’t get my shit together because I didn’t have to. I wasn’t faced with all that I didn’t have until then. Before Mazzier came into my life I was fine with the faulty stuff with Chase, hell I was even fine with the idea that all stories didn’t end happily, but he changed that. Though he sacked my heart not once but twice, something in me knew that this time he had it. I was right in that face as well because this last year and a half had been nothing short of perfect. My thoughts had been interrupted by the sound of Oz barking.

Once I was dressed, I walked back into my bedroom where Oz sat in the middle of the room staring at Mazzier. He always did that when he wanted to play, he was just trying to figure outa way to intrigue him. Oz was playful, so he’d latch onto anything cloth and pull it to either get you to chase him or play tug of war.

“Yo where did you get this lil human acting ass dog?” He asked looking in my direction then back at Oz.

“You ask that every time. You better pack him up too, because Mel doesn’t play about him and I promised him I’d bring him and he’d go to your house.”

“Ion know why you keep making this difficult. The sooner you agree to move your stubborn ass into my crib, the sooner—” He started.

“Things will be less difficult. What about my grandmother, Mazzier?”

He laughed. “Dolly will be fine, she has Jameson, like I keep telling yo ass.”

I mugged him for a few moments longer before I shook my head. He made some sense, but I refused to tell him. He liked to gloat when he was right, so I’d definitely hold this part to myself. A smile covered my face as I just looked at him. Though he’d came into my life and changed my entire trajectory, I loved him for it. I loved him for thuggin me first and I couldn’t see life any different without his difficult ass. I’m also proud of him. When he said he was leaving the streets, he meant it. In just one short year he’d opened two more Canez in different parts of the city and he’d even invested in a few businesses. Mazzier had outgrown the streets unlike most. As far as I knew he never looked back.

“Yo, why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I blinked a few times, focusing on him. He had a smirk across his face. “Because I love your arrogant ass.”

“I know you do, yeen have no choice but to, I thugged it first.”

The End.

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