Page 90 of He Thugged Me First

“I mean I see myself making ya ass happy until we both die and all of that shit you wanna hear,” he said while looking at with that piercing stare. “You good with that?”

“I’m fine with that.” I smiled at him as I reached for my water and put it to my lips.

“How many kids are you gonna give me, G?”

I damn near choked on my water as I put it down and looked at him. I didn’t even know how to respond. This was the second time he’d mention children or babies today. “You want babies?” I asked, peering at him.

“I mean yeah, you don’t?”

“I do, but this is definitely the first time we’re talking about them.” In actuality it was, I couldn’t even remember a time where Mazzier seemed like he even thought about the idea of kids.

He shrugged. “I never thought about them until you came galloping ya ass back into my life. Now I want about six, but I’m tryna respect your career. The thing is, I can wait and I ain’t in no rush because I see a life with you, G.”

I don’t know why a big ass smile covered my face, but it did. The fact that he saw a life with me made me feel all warm inside.

Chapter 20

LOVE

Ijust didn’t want to lose myself or him. I loved my daughter with everything in me, but my biggest fear was that we’d forget us and become this traditional man and woman who only conspire for marriage and kids. We were too young for that and that was my biggest fear. I smiled glancing down at Sophia, she was the most giddy and happiest child I’d ever encountered.

“Why do you worry?” My sister’s voice filled the air around me. She’d stopped by with my niece.

“What do you mean?” I glanced her way before focusing on Sophia’s deep dimples that she inherited from her father.

“You’re pouting into thin air. Are you unhappy?”

“No, never that.” I shook my head incredulously.

“Then what?”

I looked around the living room then back at my baby girl. “I think too much, I fear that we won’t be us once we settle into roles as parents. That somehow things will change and we will?—”

“Quari isn’t dad and you aren’t mom. You and that angry ass man share one of the most purest loves I’ve ever seen. Your fear that things will get old and die out is normal, but it’s not reallyyour circumstances. You know that, you just have that little overthinking thing that you do.”

I laughed. “Compared to Cass, Quari is the least angriest man. I hear you, though and you’re right. My brain just?—”

“Overthink and then that becomes doubt. I can tell by the way your smile grows so tight. It’s like you wait for the bad shit to happen when you should really take things for how they are. As people we get so caught up in preparing for what’s to come and we forget what’s right in front of us.”

I just looked at her because she was right and I knew that, I just needed to stop doubting and over thinking everything. Quari and I will be great parents as we are great lovers. Nothing would change and become horrible after a while. I had to force myself to get it together and realize that Lola was right, I wasn’t my mother and Quari wasn’t my father. We were nothing like them, so there was no indication that we’d end up like them.

“Anyways, you’re too damn young to be out here worried about that. Y’all are hot and you’re even hotter with that beautiful ass little girl. Now gimme my niece and stop hogging her.” My sister giggled and walked over grabbing Sophia from my arms. For a moment she cooed at her, then she looked up at me. “I mean she looks nothing like you.”

I was hearing that from everywhere, my daughter looked so much like her father that it baffled me. “I hear that too much, I didn’t expect it from you though. Especially because you should feel my pain.”

She giggled. “I do, our genes are weak as fuck. I’ve already made peace with it.”

“How did you feel about when Kasair was in the streets?” I asked, glancing over at her. That was also something on my mind. Though Quari told me not to worry, I couldn’t. I always would, shit in this day and age I worried every time he walked out of our front door.

“Of course I hated it, but I couldn’t tell him not to.” She glanced at my niece. She was sitting on the floor eating gummy bears entranced by the program, she wasn’t paying us any attention. “Also I knew that Cassius was from a different world than I was. So I couldn’t just prance into his world and expect anything different from him than he gave me. Honestly when I first met him, and I first allowed him between my legs, I had already vowed to love and accept him for all he came with. Believe it or not, you did the same thing.”

I nodded my head because I knew exactly when I did.

We both sat in the middle of his bed. I was straddling him while he sat up with his arms around me, kissing my neck and face.“We’re so different, but you were created for me. ,” he said the words into my neck between kisses.

I smiled resting in his embrace.

“Promise me yeen never gonna leave me, that this shit is for eternity.” He pulled back and his serious eyes were on me. It felt like he was staring through my soul.

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