Page 52 of He Thugged Me First

“He said he was our brother. Is that true?”

I had no response so I just looked at her.

“No, whoever he is isn’t our brother. It’s only us, Mel.” Mecca responded.

Mel looked from me to Mecca before she nodded her head. “He was really nice and told me to give you this.” She went into her pocket and pulled out a small white card. When she handed it to me, I looked down and it had a message scribbled across it. It read,You’ll see me soon.

Before I could speak, a doctor walked in with a nurse in tow. She was pushing a large machine into the room. “Hello, I’m Dr. Chefton, the resident OB here.”

I glanced at the pasty white woman before I looked back at Mel and all I could do was think while Mecca answered the woman’s questions. What kind of nigga was I if I couldn’t protect the very people I was responsible for. Somebody had walked into Mel’s school and picked her up. All I could think about was the worse, shit could’ve went bad too quick, now I needed to figure out what the fuck was going on and handle it so no more what if scenarios happened. I blinked a few more times before I focused my eyes on the card in my hands. I stood and walked out of the room. I wasn’t going anywhere, I just needed to think.

It was almost like I had so much shit on my brain that it wasn’t computing anything. It was giving me blanks and that’s the last thing I needed at a time like this.

GAYZE

I dragged myself from my bed this morning. Never in my twenty-nine years of living had I felt the way I was feeling. The pain I was feeling now was different from any other. It felt physical yet I knew it was emotional. No description would do it justice, but I couldn’t sulk, nor would I. I wasn’t built to be hurt and just carry it. My mama raised didn’t raise a ho, she raised a woman who knew how to get through shit no matter what.

“So what are you gonna do?” Nadeen asked, as I stared down at the budget paperwork in front of me. One thing about me was no matter what I was gonna work.

“What do you mean, what am I gonna do?” I asked. This was why I rarely confided in my sister. I loved her dearly, but she handled things differently than me. she’d dwell and I buried shit.

“Gayze, he cheated on you. You haven’t answered any of his calls, don’t you think he’s gonna pop up on you?”

I shook my head. That was the last thing that I wanted or needed. “Hopefully he doesn’t. This is my job and I think he knows boundaries.”

“So what? You think he’s just gonna let things fall by the wayside?” she asked.

“Hopefully. We really have nothing to talk about, Na.” I stressed to her like I had been doing for the last day or so.

“All men cheat, Gayze. You just have to?—”

“Accept it? Basically allow a man to make me one of something for him. No. If a man wants me then I’m what he wants.” I finished for her. My grandmother would’ve slapped her in her mouth for thinking like that. I was taught that when a man cheated and you allowed it, you thought he was better than you. I beg to differ, so here I was. I’d never lie, because this shit hurtlike hell. I had let him in and he did the very same thing he did to me when we were younger. The thing is, this time I couldn’t just up and leave. I had built a life here and had responsibilities. This time I just needed to cut my losses and move differently. It was a grown woman mentality instead of just taking what you can get from a man who doesn’t value you enough to get it right. I just hated that I had put myself out there with him and he did this. I hated how I was feeling and how this shit hit me. I felt so off my square that at this point that my brain, my heart and brain were trying to convince my eyes that I didn’t see what I had. Have you ever felt something so deep that you just wanted to forget it? I hated that I had allowed myself to become so used to him, his smell, his look.Shit! Everything about this man.No matter how much I wanted to be in his arms, I couldn’t. No matter how many times I laid my ass up in my bed listening to Jasmine Sullivan, I knew I had to get over this.

“Gayze!” Nadeen’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

“Ye…yes?” I asked looking around my office then at the clock. It was finally time for me to go home and I had some time off tomorrow. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing with that time, but I was for sure not coming here.

“You gotta get a grip on it, Gayze.” My sister lectured.

I shook my head. “I do have a grip on it.”

“So are you gonna take his calls.”

“Non, J’ai suis fini avec Mazzier.No, I’m done with Mazzier.” I said standing from my desk to gather my things to leave. I didn’t even realize that I had gone French on her until she started to speak back to me. When we were younger my mother made us choose a language and learn it fluently. She refused to not have us well rounded as she called it. When I got angry from time to time I language switched.

“Pourquoi? Il est humain, nous faisons tous des erreurs.”Why? He is Human, we all make mistakes.

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. Even in French, she sounded gullible for a man. My sister always wanted to see the best in a person. “Il n'a pas fait d'erreur. Il a fait un choix. Ne me blâmez pas quand je crée le mien. J'ai fini d'en parler.”He didn't make a mistake. He made a choice. Don't fault me when I make my own. I'm done talking about it.

She sighed into the phone before speaking again but this time in English. “Fine.”

When I finally hung up with her, I focused on getting out of there. I wanted to go home to my bed, but first I wanted to do something I’d been thinking about. Well actually Nadeen had reminded me, but it had been on my mind for a while. Chase didn’t like dogs so that’s why I never had any, but now I lived alone so why not? Once all of my stuff was sorted and packed, I grabbed my tote and I was out of the door. I walked to my assistant’s desk to speak with her when a familiar scent caught my nose.Couldn’t be.I looked around and there he was standing close to a room with his phone to his ear and a mug on his face. I’m not sure if he saw me, but I saw him and that was enough for me. I didn’t even stop at my assistant’s desk. I’d just call her when I got to my car. I couldn’t risk him seeing me or even saying anything to me because I felt the tears at bay. I was too emotional about this and I hated it. Most of all I hated that I’d put myself in the position to be hurt like this in the first place.

“Let me get this right,you get your heart broken and you go buy that?” Autumn glared at the puppy in my lap. She hated dogs, shit in fact she hated all animals.

I giggled and looked down at the sleepy little fella. As soon as I walked into the pet store I gravitated toward him. I hadplanned on going in there and picking out one of those little cute furry things, but I did the complete opposite. I chose a grey French bulldog. He was the cutest little sleepy thing and I named him Oz. “He’s so cute, isn’t he?” I asked, holding his little chubby frame up for her to look at.

She shook her head no with the biggest frown on her face. “Hell no, you leave one dog alone to get another and then that dog alone to get another.”

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