Page 27 of He Thugged Me First

“Well I’ll be damned. They don’t even have a chance.” I shook my head because from where he was, he had eyes on both of them. “They do this every year, and he always wins, and they still don’t know?” I asked.

“From the looks of it, nope. Look at Kasair crawling on the ground like a snake.” Love pointed at the monitor.

We all busted up laughing right before Quari’s voice blared. “One!” Then we heard two clacks. Then he yelled again. “Two!” That was right before we heard another two clacks.

“Nigga, that ain’t fucking fair. You do this shit every year. You come out here and use us like we target practice.” Kasair yelled while Mazzier was cracking up laughing. I really didn’tunderstand why they even did this with Quari. I didn’t think about it at first, but it was no secret that Quari was good with a gun, so why the hell would either of these fools set themselves up for such failure? I think we spent over five hours at this place, and each time, Quari used them as target practice because Gayze and I refused to get back in.

GAYZE

Today was a day, but the sky was blue, and everything seemed so beautiful. I had been spending more and more time with Mazz, and it was beautiful. Since that night at the restaurant, things with us became deeper. I mean, it was like I’d been living so colorless and dull, and then he came. He gave me a different air to breathe. That night at his house, all we did was talk back and forth. A few pecks and even feels later, he still hadn’t taken it there. I felt like he was trying to be respectful and show me it was something different. The thing is, I wanted him to be straight up disrespectful. Of course, Chase and I had barely spoken, and I could tell he was avoiding me like he always did. This time was different of course, because the past week I had been all over Chicago and spent more time at Mazz’s home than my own.

“What’s different?” Kenya asked with her legs crossed and pen ready to write down all of my thoughts.

Everything.“Nothing.”

Something is with you. You seem to be breathing differently. You’re less wound and more loose.

Bullshit!I giggled aloud. “Now I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“When was the last time you saw Mr. Carson?” she asked.

Fuck! Caught.“Last night.” I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see her expression. “We’ve been hanging out lately.” I couldn’t control the smile that was plastered on my face.

“And how does that feel?”

“Like I’m floating, and I’m not ready to come down,” I responded honestly.

“Then don’t. When we find that thing that makes us float, none of us want to come down. Who wants to walk when they can float?” she asked. That was one of her trick questions because she was about to flip it on my ass. “However, how can you float when you have a situation you refuse to deal with?”

By pushing it to the back of my skull. “I don’t. Chase and I are merely roommates at this point,” I responded.

“Have you slept with Mr. Carson?”

“Nope, but not for lack of desire. We just haven’t taken it there. We just?—”

“Hang out,” she finished.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“He clearly makes you happy, so why not?—”

“Because everything with everyone starts out beautiful, and then it all ends up being the same.” That was one of my biggest fears. I feared that things never stayed the same, that change always brought forth unavoidable issues.

“Couldn’t this be different and you’re being a bit negative?”

“Possibly, but look at how things with Chase are.”

She shook her head. “That’s different, and you feel that, right?” She was peering at me over her glasses like my grandmother did.

“You said it yourself. You were ready to be taking your own direction from Chase when you got here, but you didn’t. You’re not good at goodbyes. You just up and leave, hoping that’s how you say goodbye. You did it with Mazzier when you were sixteen, and you tried to do it with Chase. The thing is he didn’t get the hint.”

I looked at her and nodded.

“So no, you’re not comfortable like we agreed on. You’re not good at saying goodbye,” she reiterated.

“How do I even?—”

“Learn, I can’t teach you. You have to, or you’ll forever be in situations that drain you and keep you unhappy.”

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