Page 61 of Wicked Riddles & Bitter Heartbeats

She shakes her head. “I have two people left to kill and then I’m leaving.”

“They will find you.”

“I have a new identity, a ton of cash, and I’m leaving the country.”

“They will still find you, Violet.”

“They won’t, Atticus,” she says as she steps forward. “I’m sure of it. I just… I can’t be here anymore.”

I move to her, having this crazy urge to hug her. Which is new. I don’twantto hug people. Not unless it’s Lilah. But Violet has always been special to me too, so I guess it isn’t so surprising. All these years I’ve wondered about her, and now here she is, standing in my kitchen.

“I’ve moved across the country for a while, and it didn’t make a difference. So now, I’m trying another country.”

“Running from your problems won’t fix them.”

She huffs out a laugh. “Become a therapist, did you?”

I crack a smile.

Her face turns serious, and my chest gets heavy. She’s going to leave now, and I don’t like that thought.

“I’m sorry I left you,” she says softly.

My eyes fall closed and I take in a deep breath. When I open them, she’s still staring at me with a look that I interpret as apologetic.

“Why did you do it?” I ask.

“Because you were good, Atticus. I saw it in you. I see it in you now, in the way you look at Lilah. I know you’re capable of a normal life, if you can just find someone who understands you.” She takes my hand, linking our fingers. It’s small, warm, and… not Lilah’s. I don’t hate it though. “We talked about how bad we were for each other so many times. I knew you would never make the move, and so I did.”

“You understood me,” I say firmly. What she said isn’t a reason; it’s just an excuse.

She nods, squeezing my hand tighter. “I do understand you. Enough that I know I’m not what you need. I’m… bad. I’ve gone through too much shit to ever be normal. You have a chance.”

“I don’t need you to be normal.”

She smiles, but it’s a sad one. “You don’t need me at all, Atticus. You have everything you need here.”

“But I…” I close my mouth, thinking about my words carefully. “You’re the first friend I ever had. The only friend.”

She nods, placing her hand on my arm. “And you’re mine. That won’t change. But this? I need to do this. I’ve always needed to do this. I knew it would get messy, and I couldn’t take you down with me. I am as okay as I will ever be, and I promise to keep in touch. But Atticus… I have to finish this, and I have to go.”

All I can do is stare at her. Words have failed me. I understand what she’s saying, to some extent. I definitely don’t agree with it. But I get when you have an urge, you have to take care of it. Violet has had a much harder life than me. Her issues run deeper. Though we understand each other, and though we’re very much the same, we are still different.

“How did you know about Lilah?” I ask, hoping I’ll get more of an answer.

Her smile grows and she looks up at me, her eyes shining with mischief.

“Do you really think I’ve gone all this time without seeing you, Atticus?”

Narrowing my eyes, I watch her carefully. “You’ve been watching me?”

“Checking up on you. Making sure you were okay. Though you’re good and smart, you’re a little naive.”

“I take offense to that.”

She laughs, dropping her hand and shoving them into her pocket. “As you should.”

As I stand here, watching her, I can’t decipher how I feel. A little lighter that I have an answer, even if it isn’t one I like. She didn’t abandon me because of me, she did itforme. And though I think we’d have been better together, I suppose I get it. Maybe it’ll make more sense tomorrow. Because I would do the same for Lilah. Maybe I should have done that for her, but I’m too selfish for that. Especially now.

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