Page 33 of Wicked Riddles & Bitter Heartbeats

The man gets out of the driver’s side and comes over to swipe his card. We make eye contact, and he smiles. “How’s it going?”

I force a smile and give a little head nod. He disappears behind the pump, but I keep my gaze on the woman in the front who is smiling into the visor mirror and talking—I assume to the kids.

She’s happy. It’s not fake. It’s real-life happiness.

Have I ever experienced that?

Arms come around my waist, and Lilah sneaks under my arm, burying her face against my chest. “I missed you.”

I put my arm around her. “You were gone for two minutes.”

“I missed hugging you.”

I kiss the top of her head, then tell her to get into the car while I finish pumping the gas. Laughter filters out through the red van, and I wonder if kids are the answer to happiness. I can’t imagine it being so. They’re dirty, loud, and need too much attention. But if it was my own…

I can’t have kids, and I’m not sure why I’m thinking about it. My life hasn’t been easy, but I don’t hate it. Deep in my core, I’m angry, and I’m very aware of it. I don’t want to be the reason another human grows up the way I did. I don’t need to put a human on this earth to go through the same bullshit I did and still struggle with.

The pump shuts off, so I hang it up on the hook, decline my receipt, then get into the car. The sun is already going down, and though it’s been a long day, I’m far from tired.

We hit some traffic through the city, and somehow Lilah falls asleep in the short time it takes to get to the hotel. I find a spot to park in, but I don’t rush to get out. My brother should be in there by now. I watch Lilah’s relaxed body, her eyelids fluttering. The way her soft lips gently press together. She is beautiful, and she’s mine. All fucking mine, and I will destroy anyone who tries to take her away from me. There is no way I will let this woman go. I will raze every city to the ground, before I allow that to happen.

Quietly as I can, I get out and go around to the trunk to lay out the blankets and pillows in the back. When it’s all set up, I go toher side, unbuckle her belt, and scoop her up. She hums against me, and I kiss her head as I carry her around back to slide her onto the bed I made. I’m glad we took the SUV because there’s plenty of room. Once I put her down, she grabs the pillow, nuzzling her face against it as I cover her with the blanket. I watch her for another moment as she falls deeper into sleep, then I close the door and go back to the driver’s side.

I have no idea what the hell I’m doing with this girl. All I know is I found her, I wanted her, and so I took her. Now, she’s mine to take care of. I don’t want to let her go. She doesn’t seem to want to go and that makes things all the better.

No one has ever stuck around for me before. No one has ever wanted me just for me. And maybe that’s not why Lilah is here. Maybe she is just using me because I protected her, and I have money. That could be true. But something tells me it isn’t, and I’ve never been one to ignore my gut feelings.

I reach behind me to grab my backpack and dig out the binoculars, but I hesitate to use them.

Will I know James when I see him? Am I going to lose it when I do?

Second-guessing myself isn’t something I’m used to. I’m confident in my choices and what I do in my day to day. But this whole finding out I have a twin brother thing has fucked me up. I’m not acting right. I’m being messy and unpredictable. That’s how people get into trouble.

What exactly is my plan? Go up to him, hold out my hand, and say, “Hi, I’m Atticus—your long-lost twin brother who was given up for adoption. Nice to meet you.”? I suppose it doesn’t matter. I’m here now. I need to meet him. I need answers, and he definitely has them.

I need to know what makes him so special. Why was he the one she kept while I was tossed away so easily?

The hotel is large, with a ton of rooms and thousands of people. The conference alone has hundreds of guests. I’m not great at schmoozing people. I’m not very charming, as I tend to ignore people rather than use them for manipulation. Though, if I want any sort of info, I’ll have to try.

I glance in the rear view mirror to get a look at Lilah. She’s sleeping peacefully. If she were awake, I bet she could go in there and find him. She could charm the pants off every worker in the place. But she’s sleeping, and I don’t want to wake her up. This could wait until morning, but no it can’t. My skin is already itching. So, I guess the only way to do this is to do it myself. I’ve gotten by in life so far, I can manage this too.

I just need to remember the key points of interacting with people. Smile. Be polite and precise. Watch for their cues and react appropriately.

I can do this.

Before getting out of the car, I send Lilah a quick text in case she wakes while I’m gone and wonders where I am. I check that the doors are locked before heading for the hotel. If I come back and find her gone, I will fly over the edge.

The lobby is glowing from the ton of sparkling lights. I pull the door open and walk straight to the reception area. There are two people behind the desk. The guy on the right is currently helping an older man, while the woman smiles at me and waves me over. She looks to be in her mid-forties. Red hair that’s short and wavy. She has way too much makeup on her face, but that seems to be a thing nowadays.

“Hello, sir. How can I help you?” she asks with a practiced smile.

“I’m looking for my brother,” I say.

Key points. Smile. Polite. Precise.

“Oh okay. When did you see him last?”

“I’ve never seen him.”

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