Page 17 of Wicked Riddles & Bitter Heartbeats

Apparently he’s living in Lowell. On a good day, that’s only a half hour away. How the fuck is he so close without me knowing? And what brought him here? Just a few of the questions I have to ask when I meet him.

I try to picture him in the real world, standing across from me. It’s hard to envision him when all I have are a few pictures. He’s a cop, so he’s probably some uptight asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone else. In reality, he’s probably an average Joe who wears sweater vests and khakis. That’s likely why our mother kept him. He’s the good one.

I need to know for sure, though. So fuck all my thoughts and opinions. They don’t mean anything. What does mean something are the facts that I will get once I track him down and see him for myself. Once I quiet the incessant voice in my head who wants answers.

Pulling open my drawer, I glance over the rows of ties neatly rolled up and placed into their perfect little spots. I pick the black silk one to match the black silk lapels on my jacket. Kitten allowed me to see a small peak of her dress, so I would know the color. She asked me to match her, and so I’ve done my best with a black suit and red shirt beneath. I wasn’t sure it would go well, but as I watch myself knot my tie in the mirror, I know without a doubt I chose well.

When my tie is set, I put on my shoes. I check my hair is still in place, spritz on some cologne, then head out of my room and downstairs to wait for Kitten. As an adult, I’ve never gotten dressed up for the sake of impressing someone else. I have a ton of nice clothes because they’re similar to what my father wore, they’re comfortable, and I like the way they look. They’re the sort of clothes that demand respect and get respect. The sort that hasmost people looking at their feet when they walk by. I prefer it that way.

I head to the library that I use as an office to look through my notes as I wait for Kitten to finish getting ready.

It took Gavin a long time to gather information for me, mostly because what I wanted was nearly impossible to find. He started with my life most recently and worked his way backward through time. And it was all the adoption stuff, the orphanage, and basically everything in Iowa that was difficult to get. But he managed. He delivered. He gave me exactly what I asked for.

I could rehire him to dig into James, now that I know this is the information I want. I hadn’t thought that having a brother was a possibility. I’d assumed I was an only child and that’s why I was given up—because my bio parents didn’t want children. But now that I know I have a brother, that he’s real and alive, I want everything there is on him. Gavin already has his name and his place of work. Getting everything else on the guy shouldn’t be difficult. Closing the folder, I pull up Gavin’s number on my phone and hit the call button.

“Atticus,” he answers with a sigh. “I thought our transaction was complete.”

“I have another job for you.”

“I’m not taking on any more jobs right now. I’m backed up.”

“I’ll pay you double.”

The line is quiet, and I give him a few seconds to answer.

“What is it?” he asks.

“You found information on my brother, James Erickson. I need everything you can find on him, but mostly from the last ten years.”

I am interested in what my brother has been up to his whole life, but I’m more interested in what he’s been doing recently. Ever since he’s been an adult and come into who he is as aperson. I don’t give a fuck what he was doing when he was still shitting in diapers.

He sighs heavily, annoyed. “I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”

“When?” I ask, my own annoyance setting in.

“Let me organize a few things. I’ll call you in a few days.”

“I look forward to hearing from you,” I say before ending the call. A man who isn’t swayed by money? Strange. It can’t be that I’m so difficult to work with that he’s turning down forty thousand dollars… It’s a simple job. Much easier than the last one.

I lean back in my chair, staring out at the room that I spend most of my time in, but I hardly see anything. My vision goes blurry as I get lost in thoughts of the family who didn’t want me. Of all the people in my life who have given up on me. Those who didn’t care enough to stick around or put in an effort. Then I think of the few people who left an imprint on me. The people who cared enough that I felt it, saw it, remembered it. Three people make that list.

My adoptive mother, Bridget. She was the first person on this earth who ever wanted me. Who gave me a chance. When she left me, it wasn’t willingly, and I believe that if she were still around, she’d try to love me as best as she could figure out. Still, she left me too. All because she couldn’t wear her fucking seatbelt.

Violet is the second person. She saw me for who I truly am, understood me in ways that no one else ever has, and she didn’t leave me. At least, not until she had to, and that was a mutual decision. One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. But essentially, she gave me up too. I wasn’t worth fighting for in her eyes, and that took me a long time to realize. I’d blamed myself for her leaving for years, until one day I realized… she could have chosen to stay had she wanted to.

And now there’s my kitten. Lilah. Maybe she’ll leave the biggest imprint of all by being a bright light in my otherwise dark world. Or maybe she’ll destroy me worse than I could ever imagine. Only time will tell, I suppose.

When it’s well past the time of having to leave, I head up to Lilah’s bedroom and knock on the door. There’s muttering on the other side that gets more frustrated as the moments go on.

“Kitten?” I call out.

She doesn’t answer. There’s clanking around and more sounds of annoyance. I knock again, and when she doesn’t come to the door, I open it.

I pop my head in, finding the light on in the en suite, the grumbling louder now that I’m in the room. As I get closer to the bathroom, I make out the words she’s saying.

“—not right. Not good enough. Why can’t I get this right?”

I stop in the doorway to find Lilah leaning over the vanity, palms pressed flat to it, head hung forward. She’s in a beautiful dress that hugs all her curves, stopping a few inches beneath her plump ass. I imagine her bending over and showing me her beautiful pussy at this angle and it has me drooling. Her hair is in a half straight, half wavy state. I can’t tell what she was trying to do to it.

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